Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I just want everyone to know that if I develop ulcers or my hair falls out, the Diamondbacks are responsible.

They're currently two games back from the Dodgers with six left to play.

My hair? Falling out. This pennant race is killing me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Miscellany

It's my favorite time of the year, y'all. That magic moment where baseball season and football season collide. Sundays are the best; I get baseball in the early afternoon and then football all night long! I've been watching the Sox push for the wild card spot and the Pats recreate "Friday Night Lights" for the second time this decade. Little Matt Saracen Cassel isn't too shabby so far. I have my doubts about my boys giving us another (almost) perfect season, but they're not suddenly going to be the 2007 Miami Dolphins, either. Go Pats! Whoo!

Things that have caught my attention lately...

--"Baseball Tonight" last night showing Josh Beckett at his ass-kicking best. Following a pretty spectacular DP, the camera zooms in on Boyfriend just in time to catch him screaming "Yeah, motherfucker!" at the top of his lungs (accompanied, of course, by the requisite fistpump). No sound, but there was no mistaking what was coming out of his mouth. And it's Josh Beckett, so would you really expect anything less?

--"Baseball Tonight" again, this time touting wee Dustin Pedroia as the frontrunner for both the AL MVP and a Gold Glove. Quite honestly, if he doesn't get at least one of those, I'll eat my computer. I mean, have you seen him lately? He's leading the league in batting average, among other things. He might be tiny, but he packs a fucking punch.

--Matt Cassel's start on Sunday against the Jets was his first start since high school. High school! Plus, the Boston Globe keeps using the word "quarterbacked," which is really annoying.

--Gratuitous Conor Jackson picture!

Did you know the team calls him 'Thunderbrows?" I'd believe it.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A comparison

We've been light on the Red Sox coverage and in an effort to remedy the situation, we pose the following question:

= y/n?

Monday, September 15, 2008

What dreams are made of


I don't have any kind of baseball commentary to offer today because there are only so many variations of "Oh good god why? WTF bullpen! WTF offense! Please, somebody make the pain stop." So instead, a lighter note. I totally dreamt about Dan Haren last night.

I was living in the middle of nowhere, on a street with like, two other houses. A couple of kids ran away from the neighbor's house, and since our houses are sorrounded by desert and they had no place to go, we took them in.Then we went to a baseball game. At Yankee Stadium. Where Dan Haren plays as a left fielder when he's not pitching.

So my sisters and I are at Yankees Stadium and we decide we want to sneak into the clubhouse but wind up in this underground network of abandoned corridors, stepping over giant rolls of discarded carpet. Then who should come looking for us but Dan Haren. Dan Haren leads up out of the dusty catacombs of Yankee Stadium. This takes so long that by the time we're finally out, we've convinced Dan Haren to come to dinner at our house with us and the rugrats we've taken in.

And he does. But my sister Stephanie is putting some major moves on him and I was just like, "You need back up off Dan Haren. He's mine and you don't even like baseball." After that, Dan Haren got up from dinner to answer a phone call from Stephen Drew, at which point I woke up.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Poor Chris Snyder


Seriously, just what does the guy have to do to win a ball game? After a very uncharacteristic passed ball on strike three requires a fourth out in the inning, he makes up for it, coming back later in the game to smash a two-run homer that ties the game at 4-4. He roars into the dugout screaming, obviously pumped and desperate to inject a little fire into his team.

"Let's go!" he screams, tearing down the steps and into the arms of his waiting teammates. But the Diamondbacks fail to add on and in the bottom of the ninth with the score still tied, the go-ahead run crosses the plate when the throw from right field isn't quick enough to give Snyder enough time to make the catch and then twist his body, turning around in a desperate attempt to make the tag. Giants win.

Poor Chris Snyder.

And in the meantime, the Dodgers are getting tired of these of the motherfucking snakes on their motherfucking pennant race and move 2.5 games up.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Raise your hand if you need a drink


It's been a little quiet in these parts recently. I don't think Trinity has been able to get as many Red Sox games and as for me, I got so caught up in that whole Olympics thing, I haven't seen as much baseball.

But as for the games I have seen, well....

Let's just say that I want to throw myself on my sword to make the pain stop. You know, if I had a sword.

I expect the Diamondbacks feel the same way. They've been very messily swept by the Dodgers and are now a game and half back from first. Nothing has gone well for the Dbacks. It's been the usual suspects: fielding, hitting, relief pitching but where before starting pitching could be relied on to keep the team in it, that too has slowly collapsed (like a flan in a cupboard). Webb's had three awful starts in a row and I don't even know what's up with Haren. He's not happy though, you can tell. Watching him in the dugout the other night during his start against the Dodgers, I kept expecting smoke to come out of his ears.

The whole team's that way, playing frustrated and upset. Maybe this is a complete mental breakdown for the team. Wouldn't surprise me - the air has clearly gone out of the team. Tonight they face the Giants and Lincecum, the most emo boy to ever pitch in the majors. In a way, it's appropriate. Time to send someone else crying to the corner.