Baby Drew: House Mom

Char:  Chris Young was literally just having an extended conversation with a bat in the dugout

Trinity:  um...okay

 Char:  he was! just talking to it  

Trinity:  lol!  

Char:  not to anyone else in the dugout with a bat in his hand, but talking to the bat It's Parra's bat  

Trinity:  giving it a pep talk?  

Char:  could be hes on the DL so he has to make his own fun  

Trinity:  so true

Char:  The Dbacks make me want to throw myself off a bridge  

Trinity:  oh. you think the dbacks make *you* want to throw yourself off a bridge? Today was the 100th anniversary of Fenway park game. Against the Yankees. The ANNIVERSARY of FENWAY. WE FUCKING LOST TO THE MOTHERFUCKING YANKEES  

Char:  at least losing to the Yankees is traditional?

 Trinity: IT WAS THE ANNIVERSARY OF FUCKING FENWAY FUCKING PARK!  

Char: :-(  

Trinity: god damn red sox  

Char: they miss Jacoby

Trinity: they're just stupid  

Char: and Bobby Valentie's running his mouth

 Trinity: lol. I miss Terry Francona

 Char: it was time to go especially considering that beer and friend chicken thing dbacks losing 7-0  

Trinity: lol, yeah aww

 Char: it's only the sixth  

Trinity: there's still time!  

Char: there's not a chance in hell we're scoring 8 runs  

Trinity: heehee

 Char: Stephen Drew made everybody T-shirts aww he's like the house mom

 Trinity: omg, that's so adorable  

Char: I wonder what else he brings from home?  

Trinity: freshly baked muffins, of course

 Char: Sandwiches with the crusts cut off  

Trinity: 8:45 pm chocolate chip cookies Char: I bet be brings water bottles with fresh slices of lemon in them  

Trinity: and scented candles for the clubhouse  

Char: He leaves notes in lockers. "You're appreciated!"  

Trinity: on post it notes! With little smiley face stickers  

Char: Yes! And he reminds everyone to put their uniforms where they belong to help the equipment managers  

Trinity: He makes signs in Print Shop to remind them not to spit on the clubhouse floor.  

Char: He always shares his sunflower seeds  

Trinity: of course. and you know he went to the paint your own pottery place and made everyone a personalized jar in which to spit the shells.  

Char: When he makes brownies, he never adds nuts because nobody likes brownies with nuts.  

Trinity: and someone might be allergic

 Char: you have to consider these things  

Trinity: you do! every Christmas he makes little gift bags for everyone and leaves them in the lockers before everyone else gets to the clubhouse. Homemade fudge and those slice and bake cookies with the christmas tree in the middle.  

Char: Chocolate chip cookie mix in mason jars. With a ribbon.  

Trinity: curled ribbon, naturally.

Char: But he respects Hanukkah too  

Trinity: and kwanzaa

Char: He explains how Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa cake was really insensitive  

Trinity: lol

So. That happened.

The first series of the year is completed - an interesting feeling after the long offseason, as if your psyche has to relearn how to handle the ups and downs of rooting for a proffessional sports team. For instance, if you told me that opening day would have Brandon Webb getting knocked around for six runs in a slugfest and that the next day Dan Haren would throw a three-hitter, one-run effort and still lose, I'd laugh in your face.

The Diamondbacks did lose the series though, in all the old familiar ways. The offense sputtered and then collapsed on the field, gasping choking for one last breath of life. Jon Rauch happened. New season means new hope but it felt like watching the same team that came apart down the stretch last September.

But all is not lost! (I mean, it's only been three games for crying-out-loud). Dan Haren is a beast, who continues to prove Trinity's theory that the only difference between him and Josh Beckett is some facial hair and half-a-dozen hemp necklaces. Sweet Jesus, I love this man. Trinity and I are taking a pilgrimedge to Chase Field Easter Sunday to watch Haren take on the Dodgers.

Also promising: Felipe Lopez. He had two homeruns on Mon and made a great play yesterday. I like you, Felipe Lopez.

I have other things to post about sometime, like why I can never remember what Baby Drew looks like and how Conor Jackson is totally the type to get drunk and go walk around the 99 Cent Store, but those are other thoughts for another time. Right now let's make like Barack Obama and reflect that hope springs eternal. Example: I eternally hope we beat the Dodgers.

A message from Baby Drew

Baby Drew is tired, y'all. Every night he goes to work, makes the plays at short and then well, he literally steps up to the plate. That's why he's so tired. Baby Drew is carrying this team on his back right now. Three of the Diamondbacks' four hits against the Marlins were Baby Drew's and their only run came off a Baby Drew homer. Baby Drew remembers when Conor Jackson was getting hits all the time, when Mark Reynold's was hitting homers. Hell, Baby Drew even remembers when Eric Byrnes was hitting and it's been a long time since that's happened with any kind of regularity.

Baby Drew is generous, he wants the other guys to get hits too. Baby Drew doesn't want to have to do the work alone, but while the rest of the team tries to remember just what they're supposed to do with those bits of wood, Baby Drew will be in your ballparks, hitting all your runs.

Like A Bad Car Engine

That was hardly the outing I expected after all my glowing praise yesterday. I love you Dan Haren, but you're going to have to do a bit better that nine hits, two walks and five earned runs in less than five innings if this is going to work between us.

Not that Danny Boy is solely responsible for this trainwreck. With the exception of Baby Drew's solo shot, the Dbacks' bats were made of lead and the defense was hardly impressive. Yes, that means you, Young and Upton. I know you're young (one of you literally) but committing errors that let the other team score is bad. Do we understand each other?

I read somewhere that Young is still shaking the flu, and you know, I blame Typhoid Tek. Clearly, Varitek has infected everyone. I wouldn't be surprised if Josh Beckett was mailing out Tek's used tissues to opposing clubs.

Let's do better tonight boys, okay?

Growing Pains

Photo courtesy of the Associated Press

See those feet? That's third baseman Mark Reynolds, going flying over the the photo well rail after a foul ball. He was slow to get up but from what I know, was uninjured.

The Diamondbacks lost to the Giants 4-5. Big Unit Randy Johnson had a reasonable start, striking out seven but allowing four walks. The loss rest squarely on the shoulders of the defense, especially on the errors from Sheriff Mark Reynolds and Baby Drew.

Eric Byrnes extended his hitting streak to 10 games, shocking the hell out of me because if I had a dollar for everytime he grounded out to shortstop, I'd have a lot more dollars than I have right now. But apparently the Mop-Haired One can hit.

Oh, and a salute to David Ortiz who had not one but two base hits in the Red Sox's nailbiter victory over the Indians last night. Maybe Big Papi got his mojo back.

Game Day, Char here

My first trip down the old BOB Chase Field since 2002 (I remember because they gave away World Series DVDs that day) was a resounding success. The Diamondbacks secured their seventh win in a row, pounding the Colorado Rockies 8-2. Brandon Webb was masterful, going eight innings allowing two runs on four hits and striking out six. Eric Byrnes homered and drew a walk, finally starting to look like he can do more than whack away at any pitch that comes in his general direction. Justin Upton and Orlando Hudson also homered. I was a little disappointed not to see Baseball Boyfriend Dan Haren live and in the flesh but, well, we can't have everything.

A Chicks and Sticks salute to the guys in section 203 for general awesomeness. Not only did they give a friend of mine a high five for her, shall we say...enthusiastic rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," but they also adopted one of my nicknames. Itty bitty Stephen Drew, shortstop to the Dbacks and brother of Red Sox JD Drew looks about 16 and since his brother plays for the Sox, I've started calling him Baby Drew. Well hell, if by the fourth inning, the guys in front of us weren't going "Come on, Baby Drew!" Spread it like wildfire, folks.

Conor Jackson (seen above, doing the pee pee dance) also returned to the lineup after leaving game three of the Dodgers series early to have his wrist examined after he was hit by a pitch, his third HBP in two games. I have decided that Conor "Gravity" Jackson keeps his powers in his eyebrows, which are so large they clearly have their own gravitational pull. No wonder he keeps getting hit.

A question: sequestered where they are behind screens and fences, the bullpen is the kids' table of baseball y/n?

And a tip for anyone making the trip to Chase Field (which I recommend, the stadium is quite nice now and the HD scoreboard is a thing of beauty) be careful where you walk. Downtwon Phoenix is very industrial so if you're walking away from the stadium and all you see are warehouses, you might want to turn around and try going another way, or you might find yourself in a situation where it takes you an hour to get to your car. Hypothetically. Not that I know from experience or anything.