Fouk Yu!

Trinity here. You know what I find fascinating about baseball players? The facial hair. I'm not normally a facial hair kind of person, but watching ballplayers with their ever-changing beard holds some kind of strange sway over me. I don't know what it is. You can tell a lot about a player by his facial hair, though. Take, for instance, wee Dustin Pedroia (who, incidentally, is in these awesome commercials for MLB '09 The Show). You know how you can tell that Dusty's having a hitting streak? He stops shaving. The further up his cheeks the stubble goes, the longer he's gone without an out. And then there's Dan "Pirate Hair" Haren, who seemingly doesn't shave unless he loses. As good as he is, that usually results in a mountain man look - complete with neck beard - that makes you wonder sometimes if he's going to start showing up on the mound in a flannel shirt and work boots.

*sings* He's a lumberjack and he's okay; he pitches all night and he works all day...

While we're on the subject of facial hair, I should mention that Josh Beckett and his soul patch are having a decent spring training so far. But the real focus here is poor Kevin Youkilis. Youk...well, he's not doing so well, and not only is his ego taking a beating this spring, but so's his chin. I present to you...

The Incredible Shrinking Goatee! (Or the Incredible Expanding Chin, whichever you prefer)

This is Youk last year. Good year for the Greek God of Walks:

Notice the multitude of chin hairs. Clearly, this is a happy Kevin Youkilis.

Next we have Youk at the start of spring training:

New season, new look. He dubbed this the "Youk-Fu." Clever.

And then this happened. Says Joe McDonald of The Providence Journal:

"Something was bothering Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis Saturday morning.
His walked at a serious pace into the clubhouse after leaving the batting cage, threw his bat into his locker and yelled a couple of curse words before storming off to the back room.
He emerged a little while later without his signature goatee."

Oh, Youk-Fu. We hardly knew ye. So what happens the next time Youk has a bad day? No more eyebrows? That's pretty much the only hair left on his head.

In other news, does anyone have 8.5 million dollars I could borrow? Manny Ramirez is selling his Boston condo and apparently my Baseball Boyfriend is his neighbor. This is the perfect opportunity for Beckett to discover that I exist! Just have to scrape up a huge wad of cash...

I'll get right on that.