Chicks and Sticks

New Year's Resolved

2011-12-31T20:10:00.000-08:00

Until I met Trinity in person, I had never met Trinity in person. Internet friendships are like that. Message boards. Instant messages. Millions of people bonding on thousands of different websites over hundreds of varied interests. Ours was a community writing project about characters in a Boston apartment complex. It was geeky, creative, and sociable - as sociable as any online project can be. My character was a baseball fan. Hers was a banker. They were friends and so were we.

I talked to a stranger over the internet (see Mom, it’s not so dangerous) the way I would any of my other friends. Her job. My college courses. Anything else that crossed our minds. Spent a year doing that.

Then the Red Sox and the Diamondbacks both made the post-season in 2007. I’d gotten used to checking the Boston box scores just to have something to write about. It taught me to think about the game but I wasn’t a fan. I didn’t care. But with the TV Writer’s Guild strike looming, I figured I might as well cheer for the local Arizona team than invest my time in television shows that were about to go on indefinite hiatus.

I cheered on the Diamondbacks, Trin cheered the Red Sox for the first time and we both fell in love with the game. Opening Day 2008 and we were both fanatics for teams as far from each other as we were.

In July of 2008, I met my best friend for the first time in baggage claim of Logan International. I’d never been so far east in my life and Trin was my guide. A former Boston resident, she showed me the city, how to ride the T, and indulged me when I spent 20 minutes in the Boston Common chasing a squirrel - desert people have a tendency to be surprised by things like that.

We folded ourselves into Fenway Park that trip, knees jammed against the seats in front of us. We ate hot dogs and sang Sweet Caroline and lost our minds when the Red Sox won on the strength of a grand slam over the Green Monster.

At the end of the week, I went home and she went home and we stayed friends. In 2009, Trinity visited me in Tucson and we made the 90 mile trip to Phoenix, pilgrims to the cathedrals of baseball to see Dan Haren rage at the Dodgers. It was the day of the infamous four-out inning and we had seats behind the dugout in the Sunday sunshine.

And then we went back to Tucson and she went home and the vacation ended. We still talked but not as much as we used to. Busy lives pull people in opposite directions and it’s hard to communicate online the way you do in person. Dating websites run ads of happy mostly white straight people but there’s no manual of how what to do when your best friend is on the internet. Nobody runs commercials for that.

It was a long time before the next meeting. Two years is a long time but when she made plans to visit New York City for Spring Break, I invited myself along. The long winter had left me depressed and lonely to a degree I’d never experienced. The trip was a way to break out of it.

We saw four Broadway shows in five days with only a one day gap between shows. That day we rode the subway from Harlem where we were staying to Brooklyn for shopping to Harlem to change clothes and then all the way to Queens to see the New York Mets play the Arizona Diamondbacks at Citi Field. If the trains gave out frequent flier miles, we would have raked them in.

The Dbacks lost but it didn’t matter. My father grew up in Brooklyn and the Mets were his team. I lost him to cancer when I was six but it gives me great pleasure and terrible heartache to know that we’d follow this sport together if he lived. That game was for my daddy.

The New York trip was just about eight months ago and tonight is New Year’s Eve. Tomorrow is 2012 and tonight is a night for resolutions. I’m spending it watching Moneyball because Opening Day is months away and I’m 60 pages from the end of the book. Which explains why I decided to put into words something Trin and I have been doing since 2008.

We’ve seen three baseball games in three different parks around the country. Why stop now? We’re going to see them all. Two women - two sports fans - paying tribute to the greatest game in the world and to what it means to be a friend.

Three down and 27 to go. I can think of worse things to spend the next 20 years of my life doing with my best friend.

Moneyball was right. It’s hard not to be romantic about baseball.

How can you not be romantic about baseball, indeed?

In under the Opening Day wire

2010-04-05T13:19:00.000-07:00

I explained to my mother recently that all baseball fans are inherently religious. We spend 162 days a year in worship and then spend the 203 remaining days praying for summer - and that's assuming your team didn't make the playoffs. Now with glorious summer returning at last after what turned out to be a very wet winter out here in the desert - ruining a variety of perfectly good cliches; it would be much better if I could write about how the onslaught of summer cleared away the tumbleweeds of joyless winter or something not that's it's not going to be fucking hot this summer too - it's finally time to start looking to the season ahead.

(That sentence officially got away from me the way public support of ticket surchages for a Cubs stadium got away from the Mayor of Mesa.)

Going into my third year as a baseball fan, I feel much better prepared for the season this year. I feel like I have more of a handle on who the Diamondbacks are, what kind of team they are and how they play. We're familiar with each other now, the team and I. It's like getting to the point in a relationship where you don't have to pretend you wear sexy lingerie to bed anymore and can finally kick back in an old T-shirt you got for free in college for signing up for a credit card and a pair of pajama pants with a hole in the leg.

Here's what I feel like are the biggest issues going into the season.

(Feel free to disagree with me cause hey, what do I know? I've only been watching this sport two years now and also I'm a girl.)

1. Starting pitching.

Name a Diamondbacks starting pitcher. Okay, now name one who isn't Dan Haren.

Exactly.

A lot is riding on when and even whether Brandon Webb comes back. And like a slumlord who's been promised the check is in the mail, I'm skeptical. He hasn't pitched from the mound yet and the team's been quiet about his progress. What info out there is pretty general. Webby feels "good," Webby feels "stagnant," Webby feels "that it's going to rain on Thursday because of the way his trick knee is acting up." Basically, nobody knows what's going on with Brandon Webb, including, I'm beginning to believe, Brandon Webb. But it's true the team needs him, if only so he can get his trade value up before we let go of him at the deadline.

2. The bullpen.

Remember the eight inning last year? No, I don't mean the eighth inning of any particular game - I mean the eigth inning of every single last year. All 162 of them. The eighth inning is the reason I have to buy Tums in bulk (can you buy ant-acids in a 10 lb bucket? Anybody know?). Expecting your starter to throw a complete game every time he's on the mound to avoid giving up four runs in the eighth is an inefficient way to win a ball game. It also gets you on Dan Haren's shit list. And believe me, you don't want to be there. An improvement in this area will be needed if we want to have a shot to contend.

3. Offensive production.

Basically, this boils down to "be more better." Chris Young is coming off a horrible year and if he wants to keep his job, he'll need to start producing at even a modest level. It's also important Stephen Drew returns to the potential hinted at in 2008. This is very important to make feel better because while I talk about Baby Drew, I fear he's going to wind up like his brother: overpaid and under producing.

I know, that's pretty much every aspect of the game to be concerned about, right? But there are upsides. Conor Jackson is back from Valley Fever and if his numbers from winter ball and spring training are any indication, he should be back to form and getting on base like a machine. Missed you, Gravity! Justin Upton has nothing but supsides and if he can stay healthy this year, he's a superstar in the making with a contract that delays his inevitable pinstripes just a little bit longer. Mark Reynold looks to continue to be a leader both in the clubhouse and on the field, driving in runs like we pay him to do. If he maintains what he did last year the man is going to be a dirty dirty beast, and I love it.

In all, this year should turn out to be much much better that last and now that it's started, it's time to pray. Somebody pass the Tums.

That just happened

2009-07-01T09:44:00.000-07:00

At one point during last night's Red Sox/Orioles game -

Wait. Can we really call it a game? More like a meltdown of the highest order. I mean, we went from spanking the Orioles to being on the wrong end of the biggest comeback in the franchise's history. Last night's game was epic, and not in a good way. And for once, nobody can blame Julio Lugo.

I'll bet he's relieved.

I certainly hope that after last night's dreadful performance, Tito sat the bullpen down and gave them what we in the education industry call a "Come to Jesus" meeting. You know, one of those ones where your teacher sits you down and goes "Look, you're great and all, but..." followed by a blessing out that could make the toughest of grown men cry (I do this a lot in my job; I'm pretty good at it). Because come on! There's no excuse for last night. Rain, schmain. Before the rain delay, we were 10-1. Then the bullpen happened. Let's take a look at the worst offenders:

Justin Masterson: 2IP, 5H, 5R
Hideki Okajima: 0.1IP, 5H, 4R

Seriously? Seriously!

In between those two embarrassing outings, Manny Delcarmen came on and managed not to screw anything up, but it didn't do any good. Then Takashi Saito tried to stop the hit parade, but only managed to make things worse.

Enter Jonathan Papelbon, intrepid closer. Even the Papelstare couldn't save this one. The Os managed to score two off him in the 8th, leaving the rest of us scratching our heads in bewilderment. What happened to the best bullpen in the AL? They gave up 10 runs over two innings. TWO. Which, you know, is a pretty impressive feat, just not one anyone wants to see. So this afternoon we turn to our ace, Baseball Boyfriend himself, Josh Beckett. No pressure there, Commander Kickass. He's 5-0 in games after losses this season, so there's hope. And that's what being a Red Sox fan is all about. Hope.

Last night felt kind of like being in Oz. Let's hope Beckett's able to take us back to Kansas.

How do you score a homebunt?

2009-06-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

Char: Here, read what happened in the Dbacks game today, this'll get you going.
Char: E. Aybar reached on bunt single to pitcher, E. Aybar to second on pitcher D. Davis' throwing error, E. Aybar scored on right fielder J. Upton's throwing error.
Char: INSIDE THE PARK HOMERUN.
Trinity: Yay!!!
Char: By a guy who was BUNTING!
Trinity: Wait.
Char: No, this is bad.
Trinity: Oops
Trinity: Boooooooo.
Char: BUNTING!
Char: HE WAS BUNTING!
Trinity: lmao.
Trinity: Homebunt!
Char: ok, lol.
Char: I am so glad i wasn't watching'we lost, 2-1.
Char: BECAUSE OF A BUNT!
Char: HE SCORED ON A BUNT!
Trinity: Homebunt!
Char: Heee.
Char: You're not appeciating my pain!
Trinity: But it's funny!
Char: It is funny.
Char: Why couldn't it have happened to the Dodgers?
Trinity: Because the universe is conspiring against the Dbacks, duh.
Char: Well, we have added another body to the DL.
Char: People are dropping faster than pitchers in the WBC.
Trinity: lmao!
Char: Eric Byrnes fractured his hand.
Trinity: Boo Byrnes.

How not to throw a baseball

2009-06-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

Okay. Let's see here.

Boston Red Sox starting rotation:
Josh Beckett: 7-3, 4.15 ERA. Off to a rocky start, but slowly returning to the Baseball Boyfriend I know and love.

Tim Wakefield: 9-3, 4.39 ERA. Has been pitching like a rock star lately - who saw that coming?

Brad Penny: 6-2, 4.94 ERA. Not too shabby for a middle-of-the-rotation guy. He does what he does.

Jon Lester: 5-6, 4.69 ERA. I've got faith he'll get better.

Daisuke Matsuzaka?

ETA: According to the ESPN Gamecast, Dice-K's ERA, over the course of four innings, has blossomed to an impressive 8.23. Someone remind me why we keep him around.

Goonies never say die*

2009-04-30T14:07:00.000-07:00

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? You get two baseball teams who refuse to give in or give up. This week, the Diamondbacks spanked the Cubs two games and were sent home crying for their mamas in one. For those of you playing along at home, that means the Dbacks won their second series in a row.

Game one was another gem by Dan Haren. He began the night by giving up a leadoff homerun and ended the night with a three-hitter. His last hit of the night was also a solo homerun, ballooning his season ERA to 1.54 The other hit was by Ted Lilly, but you know Danny. He had quite enough of Cubbies on his basepaths and set the rest of the team back down.

Cubs pitcher Lilly - famous for slamming his glove down after giving up a homer to Chris Young in the 2007 playoffs - well, let's just say that while he didn't slam his glove, he did drop a few choice words after allowing Chris Snyder's first homerun of the year and after Dan Haren helped himself to an RBI double. And for the first time this year, the Diamondbacks really seemed to be having fun.

The Carlos Zambrano happened. He dominated on the mound. He hit a homerun. And I don't want to talk about it.

Yesterday though, yesterday Cubs pitchers couldn't find the strike zone with both hands and a map, while Doug Davis and the bullpen combined for the shut out. Hey! I just used the word bullpen and shutout in the same sentence! Awesome. The game was out of reach for the Cubs when their closer (in for the seventh inning to get some work) walked two, intentionally walked Chad Tracy to load the bases with one out, hoping Mark Reynolds would hit into a double play. Instead, Reynolds also walked. And so did Conor Jackson (Gravity would also have an RBI BB in the eighth). And then Justin Upton cleared the bases with a double.

Although the Diamondbacks still haven't been able to string together more than two wins in a row, they are up two series now for the first time. Best of all, the team is showing signs of life and it feels good to know that the season isn't dead on arrival. It's a great way for the team to hopefully gain some confidence going forward.

*Which Diamondbacks player is what Goonie?

Chris Snyder: Brand
Eric Byrnes: Steph
Conor Jackson: Mouth
Bob Melvin: Data
Stephen Drew: Andie
Tony Clark: Chunk
Justin Upton: Mikey

Lou Pinella: Mama Fratelli

Sound the trumpets

2009-04-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

Trinity: Mike Lowell had SIX rbis today.
Char: Holy crap.
Trinity: Yeah.
Char: He was on FIRE.
Char: God, no wonder they won.
Trinity: LOL. And Tek his hit fourth homer of the season, and Ellsbury hit his first
Char: Yay!
Trinity: Yeah. All of a sudden, Tek is a stud who hits bombs. Who knew?
Char: Byrnes homered today too.
Trinity: Isn't this a sign of the apocalypse?
Char: No, Jon Rauch appearing in scoreless innings two games in a row is, so you better start counting horsemen
Trinity: LMAO.

You wouldn't like him when he's angry

2009-04-18T12:27:00.001-07:00

So, you know the Hulk? Big green guy, you wouldn't like him when he's angry, etc.? Well, let's just say Edward Norton's got nothing on Dan Haren. The guy is seriously a second away from erupting off the mound, skin a bright Sedona red and his clothes tearing away, leaving him in only a ragged pair of baseball pants.

You wouldn't like Dan Haren when he's angry and the poor guy is definitely starting to get a little hot under the collar.

On a personal note, I've managed to fulfill twelve months of wanting by getting to see a Dan Haren start in person when Trinity and I made like Annie Savoy and worshipped at the church of baseball - see her awesome post about it. Watching him pitch in person is a delight. Not only did we get to see his unusual delivery - Haren pitches slowly, freezing in the top of his windup like Neo just before he dodges a bullet. I've described it before as Dan Haren pitches like he's standing undwerwater: languid and slow. No one that graceful should be so devasting. The man is a beast and I love it.

If he is a beast though, he's one that's about two seconds away from trampling you to death. You can see him seethe. The Dodgers invented a run - turns out if a runner fails to tag up, you have to protest before you leave the field in order for the runner to be called out. Essentially, the Dodgers scored on the fourth out. Damn Dodgers, of course they did. And afterwards Dan Haren was practically blowing steam from his ears. You could make a cup of tea just by setting a mug of water on top of the man's head. It was obvious he blamed himself for the situation, since he was the one who allowed the baserunners to begin with. He tore through the lineup after that and the Dodgers didn't score against him again.

In return, the Diamondbacks' offense gave him a measly one run of support - a season high actually, after the zero runs he recieved a few days before.

Getting the offense to score in games Haren starts has been like pulling teeth. You'd think the team didn't want to win and personally, I wouldn't be surprised to see Dan Haren taking extra batting practice, because clearly, he's going to have to do everything himself.

It was the same old problem again last night. Haren worked over the Giants, giving up only one lousy run. In return, Mad Scientis Melvin pulled him in the seventh for a pinch hitter after only 79 pitches. We were approaching the Hulk line. Haren walked immediately into the clubhouse while San Fransico made a pitching change of his own. He returned to the dugout, folding his arms over the railing at the top step and resting his chin on his hands to see Tony Clark fly out to left in his place. The team never did manage to score a run.

Dan Haren now has an ERA of 1.89, a WHIP of .789 and record of 0-3. At this rate, Dan Haren will become the first pitcher in history to win the Cy Young with a losing record.

The Diamondbacks better get him some runs, or he just might hurt somebody.

In baseball we trust

2009-04-18T12:07:00.000-07:00

Easter Sunday. Most people spend it in their Sunday best, singing hymns and listening to a priest drone on about the miracle of Christ's resurrection (I'm Catholic and we're famous for monotonous preaching; excuse me if I'm a little biased here)... I remember being a little kid on Easter Sunday, going to Mass in my new Easter dress and stiff patent leather shoes, wearing itchy white tights and a hat that never wanted to stay on. It was all ridiculously uncomfortable and unbelievably boring, but that was how I spent all my Easter Sundays for many, many years. As I grew up, I ditched the hat and tights and sometimes even wore a nice pantsuit instead (gasp! Pants in church!), but for all these years it's basically been the same ritual, over and over.

Until this year. This year, I made a pilgrimage to Arizona, where my fearless partner-in-blogging Char and I spent Easter Sunday worshiping at the church of baseball. There were no hymns (unless you count Take Me Out To the Ballgame, which I do), no robotic priest, no resurrection - the Dbacks were down by two in the third on some silly obscure baseball rule and never managed to recover - but I did have a brand new hat and my baseball Sunday best, by which, of course, I mean an awesome Dbacks hat and a Conor Jackson t-shirt. Instead of communion, there were hot dogs and cheese fries. Instead of a sermon, there was announcing and cheering and lots of boos for Manny Ramirez. No worship music, just entrance music. And upon the altar? None other than Char's baseball boyfriend himself, Dan "Pirate Hair" Haren. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday, really. Granted, Chase Field isn't a cathedral like, say, Fenway or Wrigley Field. In the world of baseball, Chase is more like one of those non-denominational mega-churches, the ones you drive by in town and go "really? That's a church? it's so...modern." Because really, what's more modern than a stadium with both a retractible roof and a pool in the outfield?

Going to Fenway is like going to Mass. You're a Sox fan, the guy next to you is a Sox fan, everyone around you is a Sox fan with the exception of the occasional out-of-town team fan who sits and looks awkward while everyone stands up for the last out - kind of like the few non-Catholics who get dragged to Mass by friends or spouses and look out of place sitting in the pew while everyone else gets up for Communion. That's Fenway. At Chase, though - again, it's a non-denominational mega-church. We had unbelievable seats - 12 rows behind the Dbacks dugout; we could see facial expressions and sweat and the ball as it crossed home plate. The people next to us were Dbacks fans, but the people in front of us? Dodgers fans. And they weren't the only ones, either. There was quite a bit of Dodger blue in the stands, something you'd never see at Fenway. In a way, though, it was a lot more comfortable. Chase is the kind of place where you go to see your favorite team play, be they the home team or the visiting team, and either way you have a great time because you got to see your boys on the field. It doesn't have the intensity of Fenway, where the seats are stuffed full of rabid Sox fans who want their team to win so much that every moment seems to be do or die. Chase was a lot more relaxed; all you have to do is kick back (literally; I was able to put my feet up on the seat in front of me and it was awesome), relax, and watch some baseball. Nobody really cares what team you're cheering for, because it's not about that so much as it is just enjoying a day at the ballpark. Sit in the sunshine, eat a hot dog, stare at Conor Jackson's ass when he's up to bat...good times.

Last year's trip to Fenway was like going to Mass at the Vatican. I'm glad I did it, but I don't know if I'd do it again. Going to Chase felt more like going to this Unitarian church I went to once - nobody really cared what you wore or how you expressed yourself; it was enough just to come together to worship - at the altar of baseball, that is.

PS: Thus lending further credibility to the theory that Josh Beckett and Dan Haren are really the same person, the Red Sox lost on Easter Sunday with Beckett on the mound. I'm just sayin'.

So. That happened.

2009-04-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

The first series of the year is completed - an interesting feeling after the long offseason, as if your psyche has to relearn how to handle the ups and downs of rooting for a proffessional sports team. For instance, if you told me that opening day would have Brandon Webb getting knocked around for six runs in a slugfest and that the next day Dan Haren would throw a three-hitter, one-run effort and still lose, I'd laugh in your face.

The Diamondbacks did lose the series though, in all the old familiar ways. The offense sputtered and then collapsed on the field, gasping choking for one last breath of life. Jon Rauch happened. New season means new hope but it felt like watching the same team that came apart down the stretch last September.

But all is not lost! (I mean, it's only been three games for crying-out-loud). Dan Haren is a beast, who continues to prove Trinity's theory that the only difference between him and Josh Beckett is some facial hair and half-a-dozen hemp necklaces. Sweet Jesus, I love this man. Trinity and I are taking a pilgrimedge to Chase Field Easter Sunday to watch Haren take on the Dodgers.

Also promising: Felipe Lopez. He had two homeruns on Mon and made a great play yesterday. I like you, Felipe Lopez.

I have other things to post about sometime, like why I can never remember what Baby Drew looks like and how Conor Jackson is totally the type to get drunk and go walk around the 99 Cent Store, but those are other thoughts for another time. Right now let's make like Barack Obama and reflect that hope springs eternal. Example: I eternally hope we beat the Dodgers.

Winter's end

2009-04-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentleman, our long nightmare is over. At last, the icy grip of winter has melted away, bathing us in spring greens and pinks and golds. Baseball season is finally here and summer's just over the horizon.

For most of us. It's a bad day to be a footwear related sports team: both the Red Sox and White Sox openers have been postponed due to weather.

Whatever. Here in sunny Arizona it's 75 degrees and time to play ball. Brandon Webb takes the hill this afternoon in the Diamondbacks' first opener at home since 2005.

The heartbreak of last season is replaced with 162 games of hope and most experts predict the Diamondbacks and Dodgers to be fighting for the division until the fall. If the Dbacks want to take it all, here's what needs to happen:

We need Eric Byrnes back at full-health and, more importantly, full-speed. He may be an overpaid fourth outfielder, but Byrnes always plays to win. We need him hitting strong and tearing up the basepaths.
We need to cut back on Vitamin K. It's no secret the Diamondbacks were plagued by strikeouts. Mark Reynolds seems to approach every at bat like he's going to knock in a five-run homer. He led the league in Ks and that's not the kind of thing you want to repeat. Time to start working the productive at bats and get on base. Sometimes, lacing a double into the corners is better than going yard. Stop looking for home runs and start making contact.
We need the bullpen to improve. I'm tired of feeling like I'm going to throw up every time Jon Rauch comes into a game. A girl can only take so many antacids and watching the game while trying to cover my eyes isn't any fun. Get better. We've got the best 1-2 punch in the league, let's continue what they've started.
We need to break out. With the exception of Baby Drew, the rest of the starters were always this close to getting to the next level. Waiting time is over and I know this squad's got the skills. Time for not only Justin Upton (why don't we call him Baby Upton?) but Chris Young as well to...step up to the plate as it were. I love these boys and I want to see them play to their full potential. This also goes for Gravity and Balls of Steel Snyder.
We need the management to be smart. I know they like to call Bob Melvin the Mad Scientist but can we downgrade the wackiness? Maybe he can be something a little less out there, like the Eccentric Tinkerer or something. Melvin, I don't want to start tearing at my hair and yelling "what are you doing?!" when you do something crazy. At least we finally sent Chris Burke packing, so that's one affectation I don't have to worry about anymore.

So there it is.

Oh, and one more thing.

Go Dbacks!

The Shooting Gallery

2009-03-19T12:37:00.001-07:00

Trinity and I have been following the WBC - well, more myself than Trinity since the poor thing temporarily lost access to the MLB Network (tell me, how did we survive before this channel? I'm a devout viewer; if my roommate comes home to find me watching it one more time, she may just kill me). It's been a lot of fun - and a great way to watch some baseball while we're still in the offseason. The highlight was watching the Netherlands. Cheering for the underdog is an American tradition and I was all for the Dutch, who defeated the Domincan Republic twice. Watching the Dutch play was intense - no matter how much trouble they got in, the bottom just refused to drop out; you keep waiting for their inevitable crushing to happen only it never does. Eventually though, the fighting Netherlands were eliminated by whichever members of Team USA still have full use of their limbs.

To say that the Americans have struggled with injuries is like saying Brad Pitt is only mildly good looking. Seems like everyday another one bites the dust. Last night, the only bench player they had left was the backup catcher. I expect to get a phone call recruiting volunteers to join the team any day now. The tough part is that injuries risk players being ready to start the season and make it harder for managers to support sending their guys to the tournament in the future. It's a shame - the WBC's been fun and it's great to see so many players from different teams interacting. If the tournament is to survive, Americans need and deserve to see their best players on what should be the world's grandest stage.

Fouk Yu!

2009-03-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

Trinity here. You know what I find fascinating about baseball players? The facial hair. I'm not normally a facial hair kind of person, but watching ballplayers with their ever-changing beard holds some kind of strange sway over me. I don't know what it is. You can tell a lot about a player by his facial hair, though. Take, for instance, wee Dustin Pedroia (who, incidentally, is in these awesome commercials for MLB '09 The Show). You know how you can tell that Dusty's having a hitting streak? He stops shaving. The further up his cheeks the stubble goes, the longer he's gone without an out. And then there's Dan "Pirate Hair" Haren, who seemingly doesn't shave unless he loses. As good as he is, that usually results in a mountain man look - complete with neck beard - that makes you wonder sometimes if he's going to start showing up on the mound in a flannel shirt and work boots.

*sings* He's a lumberjack and he's okay; he pitches all night and he works all day...

While we're on the subject of facial hair, I should mention that Josh Beckett and his soul patch are having a decent spring training so far. But the real focus here is poor Kevin Youkilis. Youk...well, he's not doing so well, and not only is his ego taking a beating this spring, but so's his chin. I present to you...

The Incredible Shrinking Goatee! (Or the Incredible Expanding Chin, whichever you prefer)

This is Youk last year. Good year for the Greek God of Walks:

Notice the multitude of chin hairs. Clearly, this is a happy Kevin Youkilis.

Next we have Youk at the start of spring training:

New season, new look. He dubbed this the "Youk-Fu." Clever.

And then this happened. Says Joe McDonald of The Providence Journal:

"Something was bothering Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis Saturday morning.
His walked at a serious pace into the clubhouse after leaving the batting cage, threw his bat into his locker and yelled a couple of curse words before storming off to the back room.
He emerged a little while later without his signature goatee."

Oh, Youk-Fu. We hardly knew ye. So what happens the next time Youk has a bad day? No more eyebrows? That's pretty much the only hair left on his head.

In other news, does anyone have 8.5 million dollars I could borrow? Manny Ramirez is selling his Boston condo and apparently my Baseball Boyfriend is his neighbor. This is the perfect opportunity for Beckett to discover that I exist! Just have to scrape up a huge wad of cash...

I'll get right on that.

This where you get tickets to the bandwagon? One please.

2009-01-30T14:48:00.000-08:00

It's slightly unusual to be posting on a baseball blog when the state of Arizona is currently football crazy (I don't know if you've heard, but the Cardinals are in the Super Bowl), but there's been a lot of talk about bandwagoning recently because of it. You know what I say to accusations people only like the Cardinals because they're winning?

So what? That's what I say. So what?

By that definition, I am a bandwagon jumper. Yeah, you heard me. I'm a bandwagon fan. Definition of one, actually. My foray into true baseball fandom began during the 2007 postseason when the Diamondbacks went to the NLCS and the Red Sox won the whole shebang.

In the 2008 season, I watched all but a handful of the Diamonbacks' games on television, saw three games in person at Chase Field and flew across the country to see the Red Sox at Fenway.

So what's so wrong with the bandwagon? The 2007 postseason put the taste of the sport in my mouth, reminded me how it felt to cheer for something. It flipped a switch.

I love the game of baseball. I love it just as much as I would if I'd been following it my whole life. This is my sport so thank goodness for the bandwagon.

If a succesful team brings people to the sport, then I approve. Some of them may discover a passion. Some of them may just remember how it feels to root for a team and they'll look back on that team fondly. Happy memories are never bad, no matter how genuine some people feel they are. People will remember this Cardinals team well and maybe they'll remember sport in general as well. Maybe if they have free time, they'll swing by Chase and catch a Diamondbacks game or check the Cardinals score in the newspaper next year. Anytime a local sports teams win, it's good for all the others, it's good for improving the reputation of Phoenix as a sports town.

I'll never follow football like I follow baseball, but I hope like hell the Cards win. It's never wrong to have a reason to celebrate.

Okay, now that sanctimonius preaching is over, there is baseball on the horizon. Got the Dbacks Hometown Tour and FanFest coming up and Spring Training is on the way. I'm hoping to post some kind of retrospective/preview in the next few weeks.

Rumours of our death have been greatly exaggerated.

Winter Meetings

2008-12-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

There are rumors swirling about a possible Eric Byrnes/Julio Lugo trade. I don't know how to feel about this. First, a collision of my two favorite baseball teams is just weird. Second, do we want Mr. E6, himself? I have no problem getting rid of Eric Byrnes. The fanbase will miss him, but I wasn't watching the team when Byrnesie had his 'career year.' In my opinion, we're paying him $10 million a year to strike out/pop up to the infield. I also wonder how much of his season-ending injury was caused by him pushing himself too hard and refusing to admit there was a problem.

In the end, this will all probably boil down to rumor. Byrnes has a no-trade clause so they can't send him anywhere without his approval, though playing for a major-market team may be attractive (I wonder how long it will take them to start saying he's Byrnesie being Byrnesie and if NESN will give him a TV show?). Another snag: the Dbacks reportedly signed infielder Felipe Lopez to a one-year contract, clearly to fill the hole at second base. This leaves little room for Mr. E6 Lugo, since he's for damn sure not about to replace to Stephen Drew at short.

The only remaining possibility for a Red Sox trade is to throw a catcher into the mix. The Sox are in the market with one and now that we've got a spare now that we snatched up catcher James Skeleton off the rule 5 draft (I think I might start calling him Jolly Rodger - he's super thin, so Skeleton is appropriate and skeletons make me think of pirates). If a catcher does go, I'm hoping it'll be Miguel Montero (sorry Miggy). I love Chris Snyder with every fiber of my being, he's got a great bat and calls an excellent game. Personally, I think the Dbacks have a brighter future with Snyder behind the plate. Not only that but the guy will literally bust his balls for the team.

Oh, and people need to stop talking about Conor Jackson as trade bait right now. That shit ain't funny.

Chicks and Sticks love the Discovery Channel

2008-10-05T17:15:00.000-07:00

I love the foul lines
I love the Cubbies
I love the outfield
I love Chase Utley
I love the playoffs
And all their mystery

Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda

I love the Red Sox
I love World Series rings
I love Beckett's fastball
I love Pedroia's swings
I love October baseball
And its intensity

Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda

I love the strikeout
I love the double play
I love the grand slam
I love the ~~Devil~~ Rays
I love the game we play
And all its majesty

Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda

I love stolen bases
I love to watch C.C.
I love the long ball
I love to hate Manny
I love the playoff season
And all the fun it brings

Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda
Boom-de-yadda

Things I wish would happen

2008-10-02T12:34:00.001-07:00

You know what would be awesome? If the Rays played the Red Sox in the ALCS. Think about it. Baby Drew and Justin Upton could fly out for the game together and then, when someone asks them who will win, they get into a total slap fight.

"My brother's better than your brother!"
"Nah uh! My brother could totally kick your brother's ass!"

It would be epic.

Though it's only the fourth inning, the Rays/White Sox game has been spectacular. Someone finally told the city of Tampa Bay that they had a baseball team and the surprised spectators are in for what could be a really fun slugfest.

In yesterday's action, I know I usually have an irrational hate on for the Phillies but I think I might be pulling for them after watching Hamels utterly dominate the Brew Crew. Dude brought it.

Dodgers shocked the Cubs at Wrigley. I considered becoming selectively deaf to the words: Chicago, Los Angeles, Cubs, Dodgers, curse and Manny.

Red Sox showed the Angels why post-season is a brand new bag. Also, has anyone ever performed a genetic analysis on Jacoby Ellsbury? I'm not entirely sure he's human.

There's only one Soxtober

2008-10-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

Be prepared, y'all. It's October, the Red Sox are in the playoffs, and Char is a traitor. Things are gonna get ugly up in here. Char, I'm telling Jacoby Ellsbury on you.

She says I have to make my October predictions, so. Red Sox! No, I'm not predictable in the least. And to be quite honest with you, as much as I love my boys, I'm a little iffy about their chances in the postseason. Three of our October superstars aren't playing at 100%, and that's a huge deal. Beckett has a strained oblique and won't pitch until Game 3 of the ALDS. Drew and Lowell are both on the ALDS roster, but Drew has a back injury and Lowell a hip injury. Obviously they're both healthy enough to play, but are they firing on all cylinders? That's my concern. But we all know what kind of stuff the October Sox are made of. Dustin Pedroia played the entire postseason last year with a cracked hamate bone in his left hand, and who can forget Curt Shilling and the infamous bloody sock? Even JD "Made of Glass" Drew isn't letting his injury sideline him. Go Sox!

I think that the entire tone of the Sox postseason is going to depend on how Jon Lester does tonight. Lester seems to be a sink or swim kind of pitcher. Either he dominates or he tanks. Hopefully he's got his good stuff with him tonight.

Possibly significant stats:

Number of times the Sox have met the Angels in the postseason: 3
Number of times the Sox have knocked the Angels out of the postseason: 3
Sox postseason record against the Angels: 10-3

Not so significant stats!

Adam Kilgore of the Boston Globe writes:

"For what it’s worth, here were the Red Sox' records this season when …

Drew and Lowell both appeared: 45-42

Lowell appeared, Drew didn’t: 19-9

Drew appeared, Lowell didn’t: 13-7

Neither Drew nor Lowell appeared: 18-9

Absurd conclusion: Drew and Lowell shouldn’t play.

Actual conclusion: Stats make no sense. I give up."

I'll be watching the Rays/White Sox closely, too. I honestly can't decide which would be a worse matchup for the Sox. We're 4-3 this season against the White Sox and 8-10 against the Rays, but the White Sox are a pretty formidable opponent and we all know that October baseball is a whole new ball game.

My predictions:

ALDS:
Sox vs. Angels - Sox
Rays vs. White Sox - Hm. Probably the Rays

ALCS:
Sox vs. Rays - You know, as much as I'm inclined to say Sox, there really is a good chance that our October could end here. I still think that we could pull it off, though, assuming nobody goes down with an injury in the ALDS.

NLDS:
Dodgers vs. Cubs: I'm saying Dodgers just to make Char mad. ;) And they have Mr. October himself, Manny Ramirez.
Brewers vs. Phillies: Phillies

NLCS:
Dodgers vs. Phillies: This is a hard one, but I think I'm going to say Phillies.

World Series:
I have no freaking idea. All I really have to say is that I love that there's NO CHANCE the Yankees will be here this year. That's what I'm talking about!

My October's broken

2008-10-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

Today is going to be so awesome. I'm on my weekend and I've got playoff baseball all day. It would be even better if the Diamondbacks were in it. I also have a bit of a moral dilemma: It's the Dodgers against the Cubs. Unfortunately, they can't eliminate each other, so who do I root for? I hate both teams. Might as well throw my support in behind the Cubs. They're going to knock out the Dodgers anyway. But I won't like doing it!

I don't see a repeat for the Red Sox this year. I have a very strong feeling that the Angels will knock out the Red Sox. The biggest question in my playoff prediction to me, is probably Angels vs Rays, if things go the way I think it will. That's going to be very interesting. If the Rays can beat the Angels, I think they win it all.

Trinity may disown me, but I have to say I'm rooting for the Rays all the way. Closest thing to having the Dbacks in it.

You know, I hate the Cubs and I want to see the Rays take the whole thing, but part of me almost wishes the Cubs would win it all so everyone will just shut up about the Cubs curse already.

Playoff predictions:

NLDS:

Dodgers vs Cubs: Cubs
Phillies vs Brewers: Phillies

ALDS:

Red Sox vs Angels: Angels
Rays vs White Sox: Rays

NLCS:

Cubs vs Phillies: Cubs

ALCS:

Rays vs Angels: Rays

World Series:

Rays vs Cubs: Rays

2008-09-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

I just want everyone to know that if I develop ulcers or my hair falls out, the Diamondbacks are responsible.

They're currently two games back from the Dodgers with six left to play.

My hair? Falling out. This pennant race is killing me.

Miscellany

2008-09-17T13:46:00.000-07:00

It's my favorite time of the year, y'all. That magic moment where baseball season and football season collide. Sundays are the best; I get baseball in the early afternoon and then football all night long! I've been watching the Sox push for the wild card spot and the Pats recreate "Friday Night Lights" for the second time this decade. Little Matt ~~Saracen~~ Cassel isn't too shabby so far. I have my doubts about my boys giving us another (almost) perfect season, but they're not suddenly going to be the 2007 Miami Dolphins, either. Go Pats! Whoo!

Things that have caught my attention lately...

--"Baseball Tonight" last night showing Josh Beckett at his ass-kicking best. Following a pretty spectacular DP, the camera zooms in on Boyfriend just in time to catch him screaming "Yeah, motherfucker!" at the top of his lungs (accompanied, of course, by the requisite fistpump). No sound, but there was no mistaking what was coming out of his mouth. And it's Josh Beckett, so would you really expect anything less?

--"Baseball Tonight" again, this time touting wee Dustin Pedroia as the frontrunner for both the AL MVP and a Gold Glove. Quite honestly, if he doesn't get at least one of those, I'll eat my computer. I mean, have you seen him lately? He's leading the league in batting average, among other things. He might be tiny, but he packs a fucking punch.

--Matt Cassel's start on Sunday against the Jets was his first start since high school. High school! Plus, the Boston Globe keeps using the word "quarterbacked," which is really annoying.

--Gratuitous Conor Jackson picture!

Did you know the team calls him 'Thunderbrows?" I'd believe it.

A comparison

2008-09-16T21:31:00.001-07:00

We've been light on the Red Sox coverage and in an effort to remedy the situation, we pose the following question:

= y/n?

What dreams are made of

2008-09-15T09:12:00.001-07:00

I don't have any kind of baseball commentary to offer today because there are only so many variations of "Oh good god why? WTF bullpen! WTF offense! Please, somebody make the pain stop." So instead, a lighter note. I totally dreamt about Dan Haren last night.

I was living in the middle of nowhere, on a street with like, two other houses. A couple of kids ran away from the neighbor's house, and since our houses are sorrounded by desert and they had no place to go, we took them in.Then we went to a baseball game. At Yankee Stadium. Where Dan Haren plays as a left fielder when he's not pitching.

So my sisters and I are at Yankees Stadium and we decide we want to sneak into the clubhouse but wind up in this underground network of abandoned corridors, stepping over giant rolls of discarded carpet. Then who should come looking for us but Dan Haren. Dan Haren leads up out of the dusty catacombs of Yankee Stadium. This takes so long that by the time we're finally out, we've convinced Dan Haren to come to dinner at our house with us and the rugrats we've taken in.

And he does. But my sister Stephanie is putting some major moves on him and I was just like, "You need back up off Dan Haren. He's mine and you don't even like baseball." After that, Dan Haren got up from dinner to answer a phone call from Stephen Drew, at which point I woke up.

Poor Chris Snyder

2008-09-10T09:48:00.001-07:00

Seriously, just what does the guy have to do to win a ball game? After a very uncharacteristic passed ball on strike three requires a fourth out in the inning, he makes up for it, coming back later in the game to smash a two-run homer that ties the game at 4-4. He roars into the dugout screaming, obviously pumped and desperate to inject a little fire into his team.

"Let's go!" he screams, tearing down the steps and into the arms of his waiting teammates. But the Diamondbacks fail to add on and in the bottom of the ninth with the score still tied, the go-ahead run crosses the plate when the throw from right field isn't quick enough to give Snyder enough time to make the catch and then twist his body, turning around in a desperate attempt to make the tag. Giants win.

Poor Chris Snyder.

And in the meantime, the Dodgers are getting tired of these of the motherfucking snakes on their motherfucking pennant race and move 2.5 games up.

Raise your hand if you need a drink

2008-09-08T07:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a little quiet in these parts recently. I don't think Trinity has been able to get as many Red Sox games and as for me, I got so caught up in that whole Olympics thing, I haven't seen as much baseball.

But as for the games I have seen, well....

Let's just say that I want to throw myself on my sword to make the pain stop. You know, if I had a sword.

I expect the Diamondbacks feel the same way. They've been very messily swept by the Dodgers and are now a game and half back from first. Nothing has gone well for the Dbacks. It's been the usual suspects: fielding, hitting, relief pitching but where before starting pitching could be relied on to keep the team in it, that too has slowly collapsed (like a flan in a cupboard). Webb's had three awful starts in a row and I don't even know what's up with Haren. He's not happy though, you can tell. Watching him in the dugout the other night during his start against the Dodgers, I kept expecting smoke to come out of his ears.

The whole team's that way, playing frustrated and upset. Maybe this is a complete mental breakdown for the team. Wouldn't surprise me - the air has clearly gone out of the team. Tonight they face the Giants and Lincecum, the most emo boy to ever pitch in the majors. In a way, it's appropriate. Time to send someone else crying to the corner.

Welcome to Red Sox Nation

2008-07-30T14:54:00.000-07:00

So. Not too long ago, Char and Trin went to this little (and we do mean little) place some of you might have heard of.

Trin: It was my first professional baseball game, which apparently was a Very Big Deal. In retrospect, it was pretty cool, for the most part. My track record for first professional sports games isn't all that great - for my first NFL game, I was dragged to Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte, NC on a freezing, rainy Sunday afternoon to watch the Panthers take on the Patriots in a game that was blacked out due to embarrassingly low attendance. I really think there were more Pats fans there than Panthers fans, the Panthers got their asses handed to them, and I was cold and wet and just generally miserable. I think, then, that it wasn't much of a big deal that my first professional baseball game experience was less than perfect.

You know, I think the first time at Fenway is pretty much the same for every serious Red Sox fan. Walking out of the tunnel and catching that first glimpse of the field makes you pause for a second to take it all in. You look at the Green Monster or the retired numbers or Pesky's Pole and you realize that you're sitting in the middle of baseball history. So many things have happened in that place; it's almost impossible to comprehend them all. Everyone around you is wearing player shirts and blue caps and it really is like crossing the border into a whole new country. Red Sox Nation. And I really did enjoy it, don't get me wrong. I ate a Fenway Frank and sang Sweet Caroline at the top of my lungs. I took a zillion pictures, determined to get shots of everyone who played that day. Wakefield was pitching! I got a Beckett shirt and changed into it right there in the middle of the street because no way was I going into Fenway wearing anything but my Baseball Boyfriend's numbers. It occured to me at one point that I'd traveled something like 600 miles to see the Sox play a team that plays four hours from my house. But, you know, it was the Sox, so that's okay. And they won, 12-1 over the Orioles. J.D. Drew and Manny Ramirez hit back-to-back homers and Kevin Youkilis hit his first career grand slam, and I was there.

It was really pretty cool to look out over the field and see all these players that until then were just people on a TV screen. Like being there made it all a little more real, in a way. And I won't ever forget that. Watching a baseball game live is so much different than watching one on TV. For the most part, I had no clue what pitches were being thrown or how many balls and strikes a batter had, but when you take all that away it seems like you can focus more on the action. The close plays seem closer and the great catches seem outstanding. You hold your breath as you watch the trajectory of a fly ball and cheer loudly for every out the pitcher records. You can feed off the energy of the crowd, and it's a pretty awesome experience. But there were some parts of the Fenway experience that I really was not prepared for, things that, honestly, soured my experience just a little bit.

The first was the crowd. I don't know that I've ever been some place with quite that many people in it; not somewhere that small, anyway. It seemed like it was literally wall-to-wall people. I mean, I knew it would be crowded. I've seen pictures of Yawkey Way on game day, but it doesn't seem all that bad until you're actually standing in the middle of it. And I'm short, so crowds and me don't get along well. It would have been nice to hang out for a little while and take in the pre-game atmosphere, but I have no idea what all that could have entailed, because all I could see was people. Maybe there were bars or souvenir stands or whatever, I don't know. Just people. So we just went in and found our seats. And oh my god, those seats. Char and I took a tour of Fenway a few days after the game and discovered that where we were - the infield grandstand on the third base side - were the oldest seats in baseball. History, awesome! Sixteen inches of space per person, not awesome! Especially since a portion of my sixteen inches was taken up by the person next to me, who was also kind of rude and not your typical "let's talk to the strangers next to us because we love the Red Sox and so do they" sort of Fenway-goer. That was disappointing. And again, I'd heard about how small Fenway was, but you don't really realize it until you get there. It was really fucking uncomfortable! Quite honestly, I spent a good third of the game absolutely miserable, because Fenway Park + fibromyalgia does not equal fun.

But around the 7th inning, the people next to me left and it was back to happy fun Fenway times! We moved over and found ourselves with plenty of room, and I was able to be my yelling, cheering, picture-taking Sox fan self. And despite the squished-ness and the rude dude next to me, I don't think I'd trade the experience for the world. I learned a couple things that day:
1. Pay the extra money for more comfortable seats next time!
2. As far as the view is concerned, there really isn't a bad seat in the park.
3. Mike Lowell has a really nice ass (yeah, I'm a girl. Deal.).
4. Knowing the box score is not necessarily a requirement for fun baseball viewing. Sometimes you just have to sit back and watch the boys play.

Will I go back to Fenway? Yeah, probably. I want to sit on the Monster!

My experience (Char's) was slightly different than Trin's. What struck me the most was how different going to Fenway was from all of my other (limited) baseball experience. It was pretty clear I wasn't in Kansas anymore. Or you know, Chase Field. Whatever. What surprised was the level of dedication the city of Boston has to that team. It is literally impossible to set foot out the door there and not see someone wearing hats or T-shirts. They were everywhere. Living in a mid-market like I do, it was a level of passion I had never experienced before.

As for Fenway, it was beautiful. There's something jaw-dropping about watching a baseball game as the sun sets behind the Boston skyline. It's a different experience, sitting in an outdoor park. Sure, Chase isn't exactly indoor (it's no dome, thank god) but even with the roof open, it's not the same. Chase Field envelops you, a technological marvel. Chase is Magic Mountain to Fenway's Coney Island. They have the same purpose but the experience is different.

I was a little excited to find out that we had been sitting in the oldest seats in baseball, what our tour guide described as the "ultimate Fenway experience." That's something. But the seats being small is no joke. I think I heard somewhere that the wave was invented in Fenway, and I believe it. You know how it probably started? Not as a means to distract the opposing pitcher but probably because some guy at the end of the row in the grandstand got up to get a beer, forcing his entire row to stand to let him pass.

A fan a couple sections over was determined to get a wave going. It never happened but the guy never gave up. And that's another difference. The fan interaction is so involved. In Arizona, people cheer when the scoreboard prompts them to; the chant might last a few rounds and then peter off. At Fenway, it's not unusual for spontaneous cheers to erupt from the stands. Also, the tone of the game is so different. Fans go nuts and there's no bullshit, no "in-game hosts" chattering at you between innings, no distractions because somebody decided people are too impatient to sit the five minutes between innings. It's just baseball, the same way they've been playing it there for decades. Trin: That's something I was surprised about, too, because ridiculous between-innings games are a staple of minor-league baseball. Probably to distract you from how badly your team is losing. Go Tides!

Oh, and singing "Sweet Caroline" is awesome.

The other fun part I had at Fenway? The Dbacks game had already finished but I didn't have time to check the score, so I looked at the scoreboard on the Monster. Seeing a zero and a four, I figured the Diamondbacks had been shut out again. Until a helpful girl sitting in front of us told me the Diamondbacks had won "ten to fawh." It did not suck.

That sound you just heard was an ERA plummeting

2008-07-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

I sense a great disturbance in the Force, as if a million voices cried in hope that the Diamondbacks had finally turned things around and then were suddenly silenced.

In what has been a theme in recent weeks, the Diamondbacks proved themseselves reliable at being completely inconsistent. The night after they became only the second team in history to record five or more runs in the ninth inning with no outs, the Dbacks were back to business as usual, getting no-hit through five innings by a guy with an ERA as big as my shoe size.

To make it worse, my family was at this game and my mom called me to point out just how much the Dbacks suck. "Yes," I sighed, lying in the dark because I had been trying to sleep, "I know." And to think I had been disappointed to have to miss the game and a chance to see my boyfriend in person (by the way, Danny, you're looking good since you shaved off the mountain-man beard, keep it up).

The team did provide a few fireworks of its own before the first pitch, reshuffling a few things now that Byrnes is on the DL for the forseeable future. Outfielder Jeff Salazar was designated for assignment (sorry Sally) and Emilio Bonifacio was called up from Triple-A. Not quite sure how things are going to shake out - Gravity in left with Chad Tracy/Bonifacio on first?

Also, since his name is Emilio and I can't be bothered to look up how to spell his name all the time, I'm just going to start calling Emilio Bonifacio 'Mighty Duck.' And it's appropriate since he might as well be a sitting duck at the moment. Anyways, Mighty Duck did reasonably well in his season debut, coming in as a pinch runner for Tracy and then swiping third base, something I haven't seen anyone on this team do since April.

The Comeback Kids

2008-07-04T07:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, those damn Diamondbacks were being shut out for what felt like the millionth time this year. Bottom of the ninth, down 5-0, the end seemed a foregone conclusion.

What actually happened was the Dbacks won 6-5 after scoring six runs in the ninth before the Brewers' bullpen had managed to record a single out.

I'm still not entirely convinced I didn't make the whole thing up.

Hats off to the bottom-of-the-order bench players for getting on base. The Dbacks have been bit by the injury bug - Byrnes is out possibly for the season and poor poor Chris Snyder is recovering from his fractured testicle - so now's the time for these guys to step up. And they did when it counted.

Hammock singled (I always feel bad for him, caught a perfect game and now plays for Triple-A). Burke walked. Ojeda, the Littlest Ballplayer, singled. Bases loaded, nobody out and in comes Chad Tracy to pinch hit against LHP when everybody knows he can't hit lefties for shit. He tells everybody to shove it, and clears the bases with a double.

Score now 5-3, nobody out. Upton singles. Hudson doubles. Score now 5-4, runners on second and third and I'm about to have a heartache. I think I may have stopped breathing at some point.

Gravity's at the plate and I'm expecting Melvin to do something stupid like a squeeze play, because well, he's Melvin. I'm trying to watch the game with my hands over my mouth and IM Trinity at the same time and then Gravity loops a single over the drawn-in infield. Dbacks win, 5-6.

This game is being compared to the Comeback to End All Comebacks, Game Seven of the 2001 World Series. It might not have had as big an impact, but let me say it was most definitely awesome.

2008-07-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Red Sox bullpen,

I just want you to know I'm taking back every nice thing I've ever said about you. All of it. Because seriously, guys, giving up six runs in the 7th inning? Do you really think I'm going to let you get away with that?

Manny Delcarmen, I'm looking at you. You started it. I leave the room for two seconds and you give up two runs? What makes you think that's okay? It's not! You can't do that, not when we have the lead and we're 2.5 games behind already! No, it does not matter that we're still doing better than the Yankees. We won't be if you keep up these shenanigans.

Now you march right on over there to Dice-K and apologize for blowing that lead that he worked so hard for, all of you. And then you can just go sit your butts down in the dugout and think about what you've done. No, I'm not going to stop Beckett from chasing you around the clubhouse with those ridiculous brooms the Rays are waving. You made your bed, now you've got to lay in it. Maybe you'll remember this next time you want to have a complete meltdown.

No love,
Trin

Gone Fishin'

2008-06-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well, that was much better. A night after Melvin apparently let the boys have it - which surprises me, because Melvin always has such sad eyes, the guy constantly looks like he's just recieved word about someone drowing a sack of kittens - the Dbacks had a sixth inning rally to beat the Marlins.

There have been a lot of 'turning points' so far this year: blowing out Atlanta, the series against the Mets and possibly another one I'm forgetting. I've embraced them all because at the end of the day, this is my team and I want to see them win. I enjoy seeing them win. I'll hold back today though, because it'll take more than a scolding from the manager and one good game to see if maybe something's changed.

Speaking of things that need to change, Melvin, now that you've put your proverbial foot down, would you mind dropping Byrnes from leadoff? Thanks.

I'm not angry, I'm disappointed

2008-06-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

How bad are things for the Diamondbacks right now? Let's just say I totally forgot they were playing yesterday and I wasn't even sad when I realized my mistake. Don't get me wrong, I love this team and I'm sad I have to work Fourth of July and must give up a chance for my fourth trip to Chase this season, but the fact of the matter is, the Diamondbacks just aren't very good at the moment.

I don't know what's wrong with the offense, if it's mental or poor coaching or what. But something needs to be done about it. The All-Star break is coming, and let's hope the boys use the time off to get their heads back in this.

Go Dbacks.

Cashing in

2008-06-26T12:47:00.000-07:00

So...um...Kevin Cash is a stud who hits bombs. Yeah, you heard that right. Kevin Cash. Hit a homer. Over the Monster. Raise your hand if you saw that one coming.

Yeah, me neither. And that was after he caught a jewel of a game by Wakefield, with only one passed ball - no small feat for a knuckleball catcher. And after drawing the first intentional walk of his career. And after throwing a runner out trying to steal. All of that and I was already thinking that Cash was having himself quite a night, and then he absolutely crushed that 2-2 slider from Juan Cruz and I was done. Give that boy a ticket on the hot tamale train!

Other things I never knew the Sox could do:

1. How about Brandon Moss and those two RBIs, hm? As far as I'm concerned, that makes up for his bobble in game one.

2. Flame-throwing Manny Delcarmen! He's really shown some improvement this year; I don't cringe and pull my ballcap over my eyes whenever he takes the mound anymore. Last night, he hit 99 mph on the radar gun at least once and pitched a perfect 8th inning (I love the 8th inning!), helping preserve the shutout.

3. Tim Wakefield pitching like a rock star. Or, in his case, a country music star. He allowed only two hits over seven innings, gave up no runs, struck out six and walked just one. That's a pretty badass knuckleball.

Also, it's good to know that unlike previously thought, I am not, in fact, Papelbon kryptonite. Don't think I wasn't watching that last out through my fingers, though.

Anyone else think that poor Dougie was sitting alone at home watching the game, stuffing his face with chicken parm and weeping over how much he misses his beloved Timmy? "Who does that Kevin Cash think he is!" he sniffles. "That should have been me going deep, damn it! That should have been me!"

Sorry, Doug. Seems you've been replaced.

Sox fans love the 8th inning

2008-06-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

I said the other night that no matter what else happened in this series, I would be glad to have my moment: a victory over the Red Sox.

I lied. I wanted a series win and last night, it looked like we had. Davis had pitched well, hitting his spots with his curve and his blistering 85 mph fastball. I thought he would finally get the win. And then Chad Qualls happened.

If you happened to be on the West coast at about the time Qualls took the mound, the crashing sound you heard was Diamondbacks' fans' hearts plummenting into their stomachs at the same time.

"Oh no," I moaned (if by moaning you mean IMing Trinity). "Not Qualls."

Qualls is a good reliever - as long as nobody's on base. Put him out there with runners in scoring position and he tanks. And tank he did. By the time Melvin yanked him, the Dbacks' 4-1 lead was a 4-5 deficit, one they would never recover with only an inning to work (not the Dbacks could have with extra time; our offense is still iffy, the team failed capitalize on several chances from Masterson and didn't add on any insurance runs).

Bob Melvin, you can add Qualls to the list of things we need to talk about. Right after we finish discussing Byrnes as a leadoff man.

Oh and a fun fact: The Brothers Drew are a combined 0-16. First one to get a hit buys the other a drink.

It's going to be J.D all the way, says Trin (because of course I have to put my two cents in). Surprisingly enough, I don't have a lot to say about last night's game besides GO RED SOX! Mostly because unlike my West Coast counterpart, I was relegated to tracking the game on ESPN's Gamecast, which just isn't the same. Reading about Pee Wee Pedroia belting one over the Monster doesn't even compare to seeing it. I mean, he's five-foot-nothing and weighs two pounds soaking wet, and when the announcers aren't talking about how defensively he's the second coming, they're talking about his short swing and his short stride and you start thinking, "Well damn, how come he's not still hitting off a tee?" And then you see him hit the long ball over that 37-foot wall and you're an instant convert to the Church of Pedroia.

Or maybe that's just me.

But at any rate, I didn't get to see it because ESPN did not get my telepathic request to broadcast the game last night, so I got to sit in front of my computer and read about it instead. So when the Sox rallied in the 8th, I watched the little dots on my screen move all around and watched our score go up and I was excited, but it's hard to muster up enthusiasm when all you have is names and numbers, even if your team is winning.

I also think that perhaps I am some sort of bad luck charm for Jonathan Papelbon, because the last two times I've actually been able to watch games where he's gone in for the save, he's completely blown it. Last night I couldn't watch, and he went for the save and totally got it. Don't ask me how that works, but that's the mind of a Red Sox fan.

Tonight's the rubber game of the series, which pits grizzled veterans Tim Wakefield and Randy Johnson against each other in the oldest pitching matchup in a Red Sox game since 1965. Combined, the two are 86 years and 252 days old. I get to watch this one, which is exciting because a knuckleball is always a fun time. Guys either get whiffed or get homers, and poor Kevin Cash scrabbles around the backstop trying to catch the thing like kids after the candy from a pinata. Games with a knuckler on the mound are as unpredictable as the pitch itself, and I kinda think the Sox have the advantage here, because they don't have to hit it. And I don't mind that one bit.

Duel in the Diamond

2008-06-24T10:06:00.000-07:00

So, I'm trying to think of a way to describe last night's game and can't. I went into the game with nothing but pessimism. When friends asked if I thought the Diamondbacks had a chance against the Red Sox, I laughed derisively in response. I mean, they're the Diamondbacks. They tanked, going from the best record in baseball to sitting atop the worst division in the league, in large part because the Dodgers have a habit of losing whenever the Dbacks do. The Diamondbacks can't hit, can't field, and their starting pitching has struggled. Clearly, we were going to get trounced.

But Dan Haren pitched like a rockstar. In what may have been the best pitcher's duel of the season, Beckett blinked first, giving up two runs while Haren threw seven innings of shutout ball. It was a thing of beauty. After Haren made a diving stop on a line drive it was clear that Haren was in it to win it.

Not that the Dbacks didn't get a few lucky breaks. No one told Kevin Youkillis that you're not supposed to catch baseball with your face and was pulled in the fifth with a hell of shiner. Since Sean Casey was sitting in timeout, the Sox had to send in Someguy Moss, whose timely bobble allowed the Dbacks second run to score. And we needed that run, as reliever Jose Pena loaded the bases in the eigth and a sac fly by Elder Drew brought the Sox within one run. Runners at second and third, two outs and Manny at the plate. I was nearly sick. Manny's plate appearance never ended. But then Mark Reynolds made the play of the night, somehow managing to get his glove on a bullet on a line drive. I'm pretty sure I saw Reynolds checking to make sure he still had all his teeth when he got back to the dugout.

What a game. It was amazing.

Oh, that goes for everyone but you, Eric Byrnes who came back from the DL and promptly picked up a gold sombrero, going 0-5. If Melvin puts you in the leadoff spot again tonight, he and I are going to have words.

I don't know what's going to happen in the game tonight. The Sox may come out and score a hundred runs off finesse pitcher Doug Davis (how dissappointed am I that it's not Davis and Lester in Battle: Cancer?) though Davis has been stellar in his last two starts, giving up one run in thirteen innings. Maybe he's due, I don't know. I do know the Sox are probably looking for some payback because they just lost to the Diamondbacks. I do know that Haren and Beckett probably went out and got drunk after all was said and done (they probably had a fierce competion of darts and tiddlywinks and checkers and who knows what else until Beckett won something). I do know that Baby Drew, who is probably crashing with his brother was probably made to sleep in the bathtub and when he protested J.D. told him that he was older, had more homeruns and more RBI and when Stephen was the best player in the league for a month, he could sleep in a big boy bed.

Trin: It's not often that Char's the wordy one and I'm sitting here with nothing much to say, but here I am. For completely different reasons, I really can't think of a way to describe last night's game either. Well, except for this:

I blame Julio Lugo.

Why? Because I can, I guess. I mean, losses like this are usually his fault anyway, he of the 16 errors so far this season. Amazingly enough, he managed not to rack up another couple last night, but I still blame him. He's a good scapegoat. And I can't blame Brandon Moss, I just can't. At the major league level, he's an outfielder. Yeah, he's been playing first for triple-A Pawtucket but it's a whole different level of play in the big club and coming in to make your major league debut at first base the middle of a game like that had to be a little nervewracking. I suppose I could blame Sean Casey for dropping his appeal or for getting in that brawl in the first place, or Mike Lowell for clobbering Youk during that warm up; I mean, there's a lot of blame to be had.

But mostly, I think that offensively it just wasn't our night. Pedroia struck out for the first time in 72 at-bats, reassuring me that no, he's not actually the unknown fifth Cylon. Manny gave us a couple of heart attacks, but nothing of substance. Even red-hot J.D. Drew couldn't produce (but he could catch his brother's fly ball!). I was a little surprised, because generally our guys give Beckett some pretty good run support - probably because they're afraid he'll skin them alive if they don't - but generally our guys aren't facing a pitcher whose only difference from Beckett is more facial hair and fewer hemp necklaces. When Beckett picks up the L, it's because the offense failed to back him up, not for any lack of badassery on his part. Yeah, Dan Haren pitched like a rock star, but Beckett was pretty studly himself. Too bad the rest of the team couldn't back him up.

Tonight, the Sox will put baby phenom Justin Masterson on the mound (4-1, 3.00 ERA). No word on whether Youk will be playing tonight; his CT scan was negative but he had one hell of a shiner last night, so who knows. Maybe we'll actually be able to score some runs without Beckett's evil twin in front of us. We could use a win at home. Hopefully we'll get it tonight, but until then, I'll console myself with this:

My boyfriend struck out more guys than Char's.

Small potatoes, I know. But after last night, I'll take what I can get.

2008-06-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

Here's tonight's lineup courtesy of Boston.com's Extra Bases blog (with a little extra by Trin and Char):

For the Red Sox:
1. CF Jacoby "Puppies and Sunshine" Ellsbury
2. 2B Dustin "Pee Wee" Pedroia
3. RF J.D. "Made of Glass" Drew
4. DH Manny "Loco" Ramirez
5. 3B Mike "The Man" Lowell
6. 1B Kevin "Greek God" Youkilis
7. C Jason "Oh Captain My Captain" Varitek
8. LF Coco "Can't Field for Shit" Crisp (yeah, Trin's not bitter about that botched catch in the 9th last night)
9. SS Julio "E6" Lugo (or is that E6E6E6E6E6E6E6E6E6E6E6? What's he up to now, 16?)
Starting pitcher: Joshua fucking Beckett

For the Diamondbacks:
1. LF Eric "Oh My God, The Mustache" Byrnes (Hey, even I'm excited about that, says Trin)
2. SS Stephen "Baby Drew" Drew
3. 2B Orlando "And Let Me Tell You Another Thing" Hudson
4. 1B Conor "Gravity" Jackson
5. DH Chad "Redhead" Tracy
6. 3B Mark "What Are You Doing?" Reynolds
7. CF Chris "CY" Young
8. C Chris "Stop Taking Away My Homeruns" Snyder
9. RF Justin "Just Because I Made an Error Doesn't Mean I Can't Throw You Out at the Plate" Upton
Starting pitcher: Dan "Pirate Hair" Haren

A House Divided: Battle of the Boyfriends

2008-06-23T15:06:00.000-07:00

Josh "Commander Kickass" Beckett vs Dan "The Pirate" Haren
7-4, 3.87 ERA 7-4, 3.26 ERA

It's the battle of the Baseball Boyfriends at Fenway Park tonight as the Josh Beckett and the Red Sox take on Dan Haren and the Diamondbacks. The Red Sox are coming off a 5-3, 13 inning win over St. Louis yesterday, in which both teams decimated their bullpen (seriously, I think David Aardsma was the only relief pitcher who didn't play yesterday) after Jonathan Papelbon gave us his best Eric Gagne impression, blowing a one-run lead that we'd worked our asses off to get. Do not want, Paps. Do. Not. Want. Beckett's pitching on seven day's rest, though, so expect to see him locked in, executing pitches, throwing fucking strikes, and whatever other curse words he usually drops at press conferences. As for Haren, he looked good in his last start againt the As, throwing a cutter fastball he kept in his back pocket all year. But it's the split-finger he dominates with, so we'll have to see if he can smoke it by the Sox.

The Diamondbacks just got swept in three games by the Twins. The Dbacks outscored the Twins in the Metrodome (which is so ugly, it looks like they're playing baseball in somebody's rec room) for 24 innings but were never able to pull out a win. The Twins picked an inning a game to throw up a crooked number and the Dbacks could never recover. It's good to have our number-two ace on the mound as the pitching has been especially rough recently. Even Brandon Webb has struggled; after earning the nickname 'The Tourniquet' for his ability to snap a losing streak, his pitching the past few starts has had more holes than a cheese grater. Tonight also sees the return of Eric 'Star of The Eric Byrnes Show' Byrnes after spending three weeks on the 15-day DL with bad hammies. Hopefully, we'll see the return of the good Byrnes, the ten million dollar man (he's the highest paid person on the team who's initials aren't RJ). The Dbacks need a spark, need him to do all the things you can't see in a box score that we pay him so well for (Trin: You mean like flailing around in the batter's box and grounding into double plays? Yeah, I'd like to see that Byrnes, too!).

Both teams are at the top of their respective leagues, Boston leading the AL East at 47-31 and the Dbacks heading the NL West at 39-37. The last time Arizona faced Boston at Fenway was in June of 02, with all three games of the series going to the Dbacks. Can they repeat that? Trin says it's highly unlikely, but she's a Red Sox fan, so she has to say that. She admits, however begrudgingly, that Dan Haren might be the NL's answer to Josh Beckett. Both right-handers are 1-3 in five outings against their respective opponents, with Haren posting a 3.26 ERA against the Sox and Beckett with a 5.65 ERA against the Diamondbacks. Still no word on the rest of tonight's lineups, but we'd be surprised if it didn't include the Drew brothers, Nancy...I mean, J.D. (I can't help it!) and Stephen, aka Baby Drew. Everybody knows that J.D. has been smokin' hot this month; it's like after ten years in the major leagues, he finally decided to actually play. I mean, he's leading the league in home runs for the month of June! And it's been beautiful to watch. Also expected in the Sox lineup is the second coming himself, Dustin Pedroia. Know anyone else who's gone for 69 consecutive at-bats without striking out? We don't (certainly not anyone wearing a Sedona Red uniform). Missing from the lineup will be occasional first baseman Sean "The Mayor" Casey, who begins serving his three-game suspension tonight for his role in the June 5 bench-clearer against the Rays.

The Diamondbacks again find themselves in a position to have a designated hitter (if anyone so much as thinks the name Micah Owings, I will kill you) (Trin: *thinks* Micah Owings!). My guess before the lineup comes out? Chad Tracy. He played the DH in Minnesota and it will be good to get his left-handed bat in there while still allowing Gravity to play first - now that Byrnes is back, no more starts in left field for everyone's favorite gravitational pull.

So in conclusion, it's the Sox vs the Dbacks, and it's totally on.

One, two, three: not it

2008-06-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

You know, I questioned the wisdom of wearing a Dan Haren T-shirt to a Randy Johnson start, afraid that it would bring the Big Unit bad luck. I was right. Johnson gave up eight runs and was pulled in the fifth. What followed was the most furious game of paper, rock, scissors ever witnessed as an exhausted bullpen tried desperately to avoid being sent out, lest their arms fall off.

We lost 12-3. My record at Chase Field now stands at 1-2, with both losses being blowouts. An interesting statistic, to be sure.

Less than a month and we'll both be at Fenway. Let's see if my luck is bi-costal.

2008-06-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

Back to back homers by Youk and Crisp with one out in the top of the 10th? I'll take it. I mean, it would have been better if Papelbon hadn't blown the save, but at least we have the lead again. And extra innings means more Red Sox baseball for me to watch. There's been a serious lack of Sox on my TV lately. Reading about them is great, but not nearly as much fun as watching.

In less than a month, I'll be at Fenway!

Wow. Craig Hansen got a haircut and some facial hair and has kind of turned into a hottie. Not a big fan of the whole giving up a base hit with two outs in the tenth inning thing, though. Hotness doesn't win ballgames, Craig. And you just lost hotness points for walking that batter. Seriously, man. Do you want to win this thing or not?

Fly out, game over, thank god.

Game day

2008-06-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

Another day, another Dbacks game, one that I will be attending.

Randy Johnson takes the mound today against the Royals, and let's hope it's a nice long outing because after three straight days of extra innings, the bullpen is pretty much spent. If that game last night had gone on past ten, they would have needed to take volunteers from the crowd to pitch.

Also, I'd like to see a win, since the last time I was at Chase Field was that awful game against the Phillies.

Turn the beat around

2008-06-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

For the first five innings, it was business as usual for the Diamondbacks. Or at least the Diamondbacks as they have been recently: lacking a drive to win, lacking an offense and lacking confidence on defense. Then something changed. Maybe whatever it was was brought in with the winds that swept through Shea Stadium. Whatever it was, the Diamondbacks did something they haven't done in a long time.

They rallied.

Down 5-1 in the fifth, Orlando Hudson slapped a two-run homer. In the sixth, the littlest ballplayer, Augie Ojeda had a crucial two-run RBI to tie the score. A 61 minute rain delay didn't slow the Dbacks' charge. I don't know what was said inside the clubhouse last night, but the Diamondbacks were determined to win.

Chris Snyder hit the go-ahead run in the eighth. Not wanting to be left out of the fun, Baby Drew had a two-run homer in the ninth and Gravity had a solo shot of his own.

Down by four runs on the road, the Diamondbacks played like a team leading its division. And man, was that fun to watch.

Victory

2008-06-07T11:32:00.001-07:00

Perhaps the single greatest sentence ever written about the Diamonbacks:

Mark Reynolds beat Dan Haren in a spirited, dramatic game of Jenga in the clubhouse this afternoon.

Re: the Brewers

2008-06-04T13:59:00.000-07:00

The Dbacks just don't know how to treat a girl. I came home sick from work, which means I was watching this whole debacle.

You know what? I don't think I want to talk about it.

He's number two

2008-05-31T07:05:00.000-07:00

In the midst of the Dbacks slump (which I'm not going to talk about right now because first, I don't want to think about getting swept by the Giants and losing last night to the Nationals and second, I want them all to go into their clubhouse and think about what they've done) their was one bright shining moment. One thing that left me excited and smiling:

Randy Johnson tied Roger Clemens for number two on the all-time strikeout list. He now has 4,672, good enough to share the second spot - for now. Barring any freak occurances, Johnson should surpass Clemens for second to Nolan Ryan on his next start.

Johnson came close to strikeout number 4,673 more than once, getting to strike two on three batters while the small crowd got to its feet and roared. He was able to get the outs but not the strikes. No matter. That will come in a few days.

I really enjoyed watching him go for the record. I've always counted myself that in a time where I didn't follow baseball regularly, I just happened to be watching the night Johnson threw his perfect game.

It's been an honor watching him make history.

A bit of tomfoolery

2008-05-28T09:39:00.000-07:00

I came across this today and thought it was worth linking to. Just a bit of lightheartedness, and we need a bit of that around here since the Dbacks lost 6-3 to the Giants and the Sox lost to the Mariners. The other thing the Sox lost was Dice-K to shoulder fatigue.

Anyway, we could use a laugh.

How Me Breaking Up With You Is Like Jon Lester Pitching A No-Hitter Against the Royals.

He Who Must Not Be Named

2008-05-26T14:15:00.000-07:00

Trinity: Ha, A-Rod's getting booed.
Char: See, everybody hates A-Rod.
Char: We should have a nickname for him, the kind of name that makes a person sound like a dick.
Char: Like Clancy.
Trinity: Or Voldemort, because he's evil.
Trinity: Volde-Rod.
Char: Perfect!

It's a mad world

2008-05-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Eric Byrnes has hit a grand slam.

In this crazy new world in which we find ourselves, anything is possible. Down is up, left is right and I fully expect it to begin raining chocolate pudding at any moment.

Before yesterday afternoon, the only thing Byrnes knew about a grand slam was what they serve at Denny's. Now he knows how a major league baseball grand slam feels: less bacon, more glory.

If anyone needed it, it was Byrnes. His batting average for the season was down to .217 and his average for the month of May was so low, I'm embarassed to even type it. It was roughly the equivalent of his annual salary, give or take a few decimal places.

Congratulations, Byrnesie. This is what people expect from you, why you're the face of the franchise. You've earned yourself a couple days of goodwill from me and hopefully this is sign of you turning that slump around for good.

A message from Baby Drew

2008-05-22T14:03:00.000-07:00

Baby Drew is tired, y'all. Every night he goes to work, makes the plays at short and then well, he literally steps up to the plate. That's why he's so tired. Baby Drew is carrying this team on his back right now. Three of the Diamondbacks' four hits against the Marlins were Baby Drew's and their only run came off a Baby Drew homer. Baby Drew remembers when Conor Jackson was getting hits all the time, when Mark Reynold's was hitting homers. Hell, Baby Drew even remembers when Eric Byrnes was hitting and it's been a long time since that's happened with any kind of regularity.

Baby Drew is generous, he wants the other guys to get hits too. Baby Drew doesn't want to have to do the work alone, but while the rest of the team tries to remember just what they're supposed to do with those bits of wood, Baby Drew will be in your ballparks, hitting all your runs.

You want me to wear what?

2008-05-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

You know what I hate about being a baseball chick? The clothes. I've got plans to make the trek up to Chase Field next month and was eagerly anticipating a trip to the team shop. Sure, I've only been doing this baseball fan thing with any regularity for the past couple months, but I'm starting to accumulate a variety of merchandise. I have my Dbacks cap, my tenth anniversary T-shirt (free giveaway night, woohoo!) and my #15 Dan Haren shirt (I love you!). But what about my next trip? Should I splurge on a jersey? Or get another player shirt - appropriately, like his nickname, Conor Jackson calls to me and I'd love to wear his shirt. Debating, I went online to investigate options.

I wanted a Gravity T-shirt but since my Haren shirt is men's I navigated to the women's section online to look for player shirts. And I looked. And looked. And looked. Where were they? I clicked around in other sections, trying to find the shirt I wanted. It doesn't exist. There are no player shirts in women's cuts.

Why the hell not?

The women's clothing section of the Dbacks shop leaves a lot to be desired. First out of of two pages of results for T-shirts only one is in the Diamondbacks signature color, Sedona red. Everything else is black (which ok, is a team color but not as good as red), white or worse, pink.

Why would I want to wear this? It's ugly, barely affiliated with the team and if you're going to a game, why wear pink? A player on the field doesn't know that some random pink shirt is for him.

Is it supposed to be ironic? Is it an ironic T-shirt because omg, girls totally like baseball too, isn't that like, so funny?

No. It's not. I don't have to prove I'm a girl by wearing pink because clearly, there's something off about girls like sports. I don't have to reconcile my feminine side with sports. I can be a perfectly normal girl who enjoys baseball and that means I want to wear my team colors in shirts that are designed to fit me correctly.

I'll still pick up Gravity's shirt and like my other Dbacks gear, resign myself to the fact that I have to purchase it in a men's cut (the website describes it as an "authentic chest cut" but I don't know who's chest it authentically fits, cause it ain't mine), making it small in the chest and baggy in the shoulder and waist. It won't fit right but what choice do I have? I've got money to spend and I want to support my team and my favorite players. Just don't expect me to wear pink.

We don't need no stinkin' base hits

2008-05-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of the Boston Globe

FOX's Jeanie Zelasko has been looking for it all season and now we've got one - Jon Lester picked up the first no-hitter of the season and of his career tonight as the Sox took down the Royals 7-0. Looks like I've underestimated you, Jon. Nice job.

Miscellany

2008-05-13T16:52:00.000-07:00

I feel like a bullet point list tonight.

Red Sox are up 3-1 at the top of the third. All three of those runs were scored in the first inning. Beckett's pitching. I love when the Sox play the Orioles, because I live in Orioles territory and get to see the entire series. Don't think I'm not still thinking about calling in sick to work tomorrow and taking off for Baltimore for the 3pm game. If it weren't nearly state testing time, I'd so do it.
I have yet to watch a Sox game on any channel where the announcers don't spend at least five minutes talking about Dustin Pedroia like he's the second coming. Not that I'm complaining - I love Pee Wee Petey. And Pedroia really has been hot shit so far this season.
Book review! I recently finished reading The Code: Baseball's Unwritten Rules and its Ignore-at-Your-Own-Risk Code of Conduct by Ross Bernstein. It's mostly a collection of anecdotes, all centering around the unnoficial baseball honor code. Things like sliding hard into second, plunking batters, celebrating after home runs, etc. I enjoyed it, even though at times I felt like I was reading the same thing over and over - the code is about honor, respect, and looking out for your teammates. That's pretty clear after the first chapter, so most mentions of those three concepts in the following chapters felt like beating a dead horse at times. The book could have benefitted from more anecdotes, especially from current players. One of the themes of the book seems to be how the code is changing, between more stringent official rules and higher-paid players and various other things, but little is said about what, if anything, ballplayers are doing to compensate for this. But still, an entertaining read that really makes you see some elements of the game in a new light.
Oh look. JD Drew's leaving the game with a wrist injury. Three words for you: Made. Of. Glass.
In the time it took to write that book review, the Os scored four more runs, making it 3-5 Orioles, bottom of the 3rd. Three of those runs were off a Luke Scott homer. Boyfriend is not happy.
Baseball books on the ever-expanding list of books to read: One Day at Fenway by Steve Kettman, A Tale of Two Cities: the 2004 Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry and the War for the Pennant by Tony Massarotti and John Harper, and Feeding the Monster: How Money, Smarts, and Nerve Took a Team to the Top by Seth Mnookin. Reviews forthcoming.
And I think that's all I have for the night. Top of the 6th, score hasn't changed.

We're on a break

2008-05-10T10:43:00.000-07:00

Char: Is it bad that I don't know if I want to watch the Dbacks today?
Trinity: Wow. That is bad.
Char: ANTM is on MTV and I kind of just want to watch that. Plus I'm angry at Eric Byrnes and the rest of them for sucking yesterday
Trinity: Ha! I'm in a fight with the Red Sox. Specifically Papelbon.
Char: Eric Byrnes STRUCK OUT INTO A DOUBLE PLAY
Trinity: Paps GAVE UP TWO RUNS IN THE NINTH.
Trinity: BLEW THE SAVE
Trinity: Two outs, two men on, Sox are up by one and stupid Paps gave up the tying and the go-ahead run.
Char: Well, it happens sometimes....
Trinity: This is his second blown save in a row!
Char: Ouch.
Trinity: Yeah
Char: Eric Byrnes flailed around so much when he struck out that the ump called him on interference. They said he blocked the catcher's throwing lane to second where Augie Ojeda had just stolen second base, so they called Augie out
Char: TWO OUTS ON A SINGLE STRIKE OUT
Trinity: Ugh. Stupid Byrnes!
Char: And Byrnes is FIVE FOR HIS LAST 50 with no walks and no extra base hits
Char: AND HE'S ALWAYS IN THE TOP OF THE ORDER
Char: Angry! I am angry with you, Eric Byrnes!
Trinity: I am too! Just because!
Char: Because he sucks!
Trinity: He does!
Char: Stinking baseball.
Trinity: Srsly.

Wanted dead or alive

2008-05-09T16:57:00.000-07:00

WANTED:
Eric Byrnes' hitting ability.
Last seen sometime in early April.
If found please return to Chase Field, Phoenix, Arizona.

Really, who hasn't spent their birthday lying facedown in the dirt?

2008-05-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

Poor Conor Jackson. He gets himself a birthday RBI and gets hit by a pitch, because hey, we don't call him Gravity for nothing. Basically, it was business as usual until the above happened. There was a collision at first and CoJack took a batting helmet right to the eye. It wasn't pretty. The only this missing from that picture is a chalk outline around his body. With Gravity pulled from the game, the rest of the Dbacks collapsed like a bad flan, losing to the Phillies.

Cue Brandon Webb, who left the Phillies crying for their mommies today. He threw a complete game, holding the Phillies to six and three runs (two earned). He is now 8-0. Basically, Webby brought it today.

Baseball Boyfriend Birthday

2008-05-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Conor Jackson!
May the immense gravitational pull of your massive eyebrows brings lots of home run pitches your way - to your bat, not your head, as is usually the case.

You never forget your first time

2008-05-05T16:15:00.000-07:00

I'm playing catch-up here a bit, I know. On Friday, a friend and I took her kids to their very first professional baseball game ever: Indianapolis Indians at Norfolk Tides (the Tides are the triple-A team for the sort-of nearby Baltimore Orioles) in Harbor Park. My friend has a four year old boy and a six year old girl. She was pretty sure it was her first ballgame, too; she couldn't remember ever having been taken to games when she was younger. Taking the kids to the game had a bit of sentimental value, because a Tides game was my first professional baseball game, too, back when baseball was something I was forced to watch my younger brother play every Saturday afternoon in the spring and summer and going to Tides games for family nights with his Cub Scout troop was a semi-regular occurence. That was back when they were the Tidewater Tides, they were the farm team for the Mets, and they played at Met Park near the airport. Definitely some nostalgia going on.

As far as the game itself...well, we went down 9-3. The pitcher seemed to have forgotten where the strike zone was, the fielders had apparently taken the night off, and the bullpen was definitely playing homage to the Red Sox with their complete suckitude. But you know, I didn't really care, and not just because everyone in Hampton Roads knows the Tides suck.

No, what I enjoyed about the game was all the other stuff. Watching the kids devour hot dogs and cotton candy. A three year old's face as he leans on you, eyes glued to the game. Explaining things like the seventh inning stretch and the bullpen. Overpriced ballpark beer. Winning a gallon of wiper fluid because the bullpen finally managed to strike a guy out. The silly games in the middle of each inning. Listening to my friend call everyone she knew because she'd just caught a foul ball that had almost hit her daughter in the head! Singing "Take Me Out To the Ballgame." Watching two amazing little kids tear around the bases after the game, waving at you as they round third and head for home.

Driving home with the windows down and the music up, knowing that for the first time in a long time, two little children and their mother were able to escape the mess their lives have become and just enjoy a night at the ballpark.

Because that's why we do this, isn't it? Why baseball is the national pastime. We go to a ballgame, spend too much money on beer and souveniers. Yell, scream, curse, and laugh; make new friends with people sitting around you who are there for the same reason you are - to get away from the stress of everyday life and watch some guys playing a game they love. Ballparks are interesting; they're almost completely enclosed and being in one is like being in a whole different world, a world where all these people have come together for love of one thing - the game of baseball. It's a pretty amazing feeling. Those kids are never going to forget that night, and I'm just lucky to have been a part of it.

In other news, Josh Beckett may have some competition for the coveted position of Trinity's Baseball Boyfriend because hello, Conor Jackson, you are a stud! Char says I can have an AL boyfriend and an NL boyfriend, so I'm totally going to. I'm terribly jealous that she gets to see him in person tonight (hi, my name is Trinity, and I go from introspective to shallow in 0.6 seconds).

The Sox are taking on the Tigers tonight, with Dice-K on the mound for us. I can't tell yet whether Dice-K hasn't found his stride yet this season or if he's really just an average pitcher. He doesn't often go deep into the games (which, given the state of our bullpen, is not what we need), and he walks a lot of guys. He pitches into full counts a lot and throws a lot of pitches. Dice-K throws for strikes but doesn't get them, and doesn't pitch to contact, which is what he should be doing with mediocre stuff like his. It's not like our fielders aren't going to back him up. If there's one thing the Sox can do, it's field. Maybe with the exception of Mr. E6 himself, Julio Lugo. But as long as nobody hits to shortstop, we're fine.

Hey, Dice-K just walked his fifth guy tonight. And Julian "Batshit" Tavarez is already warming in the bullpen. Sigh.

Game day

2008-05-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

If anyone needs me tonight, I'll be at Chase Field, watching Max Scherzer make his fist big league start.

Bad Luck

2008-05-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

For the second time in a row, the Dbacks lost the same day I posted praising them.

Am I bad luck?

Round up

2008-05-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

Time for a new post because everytime I see the tongue lashing (keyboard lashing?) I laid on the Dbacks, my heart hurts.

No one likes to see their team lose. And the Diamondbacks can lose games and will lose games, probably lots of them. But when it comes down to it, I'd almost rather lose in a one-run heartbreaker than to watch my boys suffer a total meltdown either on pitching or defense. I just want them to compete and compete well.

And they have. The Dbacks are sitting on the best record in MLB right now. In Arizona, this is shocking. With the exception of the Phoenix Suns who have reemerged in recent years from their pit of mediocrity, nobody really expects our sports teams to succeed. In Arizona, we don't believe in waiting for next year because that implies that we believe next year will be better than this one. We simply grumble and move on. The Diamondbacks, with their World Series victory over the Yankees in 2001 (insert customary Yankees suck comment here) became the first Arizona team to ever win a championship. Only the Phoenix Mercury of the WNBA have joined the Dbacks as champions.

I just want to see the Dbacks win.

Time for shout outs! Big well done to Micah Owings who came into the game to pinch hit and knocked out a two-run homer on Weds. to tie the game with Astros. The Dbacks would rally from four runs down to win the game 8-7. Pwnings is a starting pitcher. My team's pitcher is better than your team's DH! Personally, I vote that on inter-league games, Pwnings plays as designated hitter, shaming and embarrassing spoiled American League pitchers and sending them back into the dugouts crying for their mommies.

Also, the Dbacks were in the New York Times today. I feel like a proud parent. My baby's in the New York Times.

Oh, and Yankees suck.

Like A Bad Car Engine

2008-04-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

That was hardly the outing I expected after all my glowing praise yesterday. I love you Dan Haren, but you're going to have to do a bit better that nine hits, two walks and five earned runs in less than five innings if this is going to work between us.

Not that Danny Boy is solely responsible for this trainwreck. With the exception of Baby Drew's solo shot, the Dbacks' bats were made of lead and the defense was hardly impressive. Yes, that means you, Young and Upton. I know you're young (one of you literally) but committing errors that let the other team score is bad. Do we understand each other?

I read somewhere that Young is still shaking the flu, and you know, I blame Typhoid Tek. Clearly, Varitek has infected everyone. I wouldn't be surprised if Josh Beckett was mailing out Tek's used tissues to opposing clubs.

Let's do better tonight boys, okay?

Like A Rocket

2008-04-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

When it comes to hot starts, it doesn't get any fiery than this. The Diamondbacks are sitting on a pretty six game division lead and have the best record in the the MLB. And last night Brandon Webb became the first pitcher this year to go 5-0. Of course, he won the game with a two-run RBI after the Giants got off to an early lead.

This, combined with the fact that my alarm goes off at the ungodly hour of 4:30 am, prompted me to turn off the game and go to bed. Then I dreamt we lost 33-9. I know it was a dream because not only did we win 5-4 but if the Giants ever scored 33 runs in a game, I'd be holed up in my nuclear bunker, enjoying a diet of Spam and bottled water because the end of the world would be pretty seriously nigh.

Webb isn't even the best hitting pitcher we've got. That honor belongs to Micah Owings, whose entertaining exploits have me eager to see which will be better, his ERA or his BA. I've seen Pwnings brought in to pinch hit. And if you're a pitcher and the other team sends in their pitcher to pinch hit, you might as well call it a day. That must be so embarrassing. I love it.

Pwnings is also unafraid to go after the ball. Couple of days ago, he went after an infield grounder and when there was no one covering the bag, he slid to first to get the out. It's a surprising play when you weigh the risk of injury against the rewards of merely getting the first out.

And before I forget, tip of the hat to Conor Jackson for being named NL Player of the Week. Nicely done, Gravity.

Tied together with a smile

2008-04-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I may be sounding the death knell a little too soon, but...

Manny Delcarmen has the flu.

Jason Varitek has the flu.

Josh Beckett has neck stiffness related to the flu.

Mike Lowell's on the DL (although things are looking good for his return soon).

Alex Cora's on the DL.

Coco Crisp isn't on the DL, but is having hamstring problems.

Which means that backup catcher Kevin Cash is catching fresh-from-Pawtucket emergency starter David Pauley tonight. Anyone else just a little bit iffy about this? I'd feel better if Tek was the one behind the plate with a new guy on the mound. Unfortunately, Tek went and got himself the flu, then proceeded to do his best Typhoid Mary impression all over the Red Sox clubhouse. Hand sanitizer, man! Take it from a teacher - that shit is your best friend. If this goes on any longer, the maintenance men are going to wind up taking the field!

Ten bucks says Jacoby Ellsbury shows up at the clubhouse tomorrow with homemade chicken soup.

Fun fact: With Tek out, Cash playing and both Cora and Lowell (our intrepid emergency backup-backup catchers) on the DL, we were presumably without a backup catcher for tonight's game. That is, at least, until wee Dustin Pedroia offered to take the job. He'll be the only person in the history of major league baseball to have to catch from a standing position.

Duct tape and string, that seems to be the only thing holding the Sox together tonight.

Being Big Papi

2008-04-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of the Boston Globe

Ladies and gentlemen, Big Papi is back!

Davit Ortiz hit himself a grand slam with two outs in the third inning of in last night's game against the Texas Rangers. You can see him up there celebrating with the three runs he brought in - Ellsbury, Pedroia, and recent minor-league call-up Jed Lowrie. Then, to prove it wasn't a fluke, he hit a two-run RBI single in the bottom of the eighth. Also, Dice-K extended his winning streak to 4-0, and wee Dustin Pedroia hit his first homer of the season. Rangers 3, Red Sox 11.

But the honors of the night really belong to one Mr. David Ortiz.

Welcome back, Papi.

Things I Do At 5 AM

2008-04-18T10:15:00.000-07:00

A haiku:

O! Danny Haren
I love your hair and fastball
Are you a pirate?

The Dbacks play the Padres today and I have a feeling they may be a little sluggish tonight. Seeing as how they went 22 innings against Colorado last night. It was after 1 am when the Rockies finally won and the Padres still have to travel to Phoenix today. I mean, six hour game. Damn.

Brothers From Another Mother

2008-04-16T19:44:00.000-07:00

Screencap from yahoo.com

When I saw this image over on Yahoo! I had to do a double-take. I mean, is it just me or somehow, during his time extending his hitting streak to 12 games and helping Arizona win the series with the Giants two games to one, did Eric Byrnes find time to clone himself and trek to Cincinnati (the best town in O-H-I-O, Ohio USA) to go play for the Reds? It's not just me, right?

An open letter to the Red Sox bullpen

2008-04-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

Dear David Aardsma,

I'll admit, I haven't thought very much of you as a pitcher so far this season. I think at one point I saw Tito put you in and went "Oh, we're fucked now." And really, you walk a lot of batters. But you're improving, I'll give you that.

Tonight, I just want to say thank you.

Generally, I'm not a fan of my pitchers plunking guys, not unless the other guys started it. However, I do understand that sometimes, those balls get away from you. And whether you meant it or not, that 95 mph heater you hit A-Rod with? Beautiful. I mean, I'm not happy that A-Rod got first, don't get me wrong. But if there's anyone on that team that I want to see hit with something traveling faster than my car will go, it's him.

So thank you, David Aardsma. You made my night.

Go Sox!

--Trin

Life, the Universe and Everything

2008-04-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

Char here.

You know, I spent some time thinking about Jackie Robinson Day today at (because I'm certainly not going to waste my time thinking about my job). I've done some reading about it today, about comments that wearing number 42 should be reserved for players who bring diversity in any way or that teams without black players shouldn't wear it. After some thought, I've decided I disagree.

There is nothing wrong with honoring the man who broke the color barrier in Major League Baseball in a time when the world was segregated. Wearing his number is a reminder of how far we've come and hopefully, encouragement about how far we have still left to go.

His achievement, both in desegregation and as a talented ball player deserves our respect. There are far too few heroes, for a day, there's nothing wrong with venerating one of the greats.

Thank you, Jackie Robinson.

Growing Pains

2008-04-15T08:43:00.001-07:00

Photo courtesy of the Associated Press

See those feet? That's third baseman Mark Reynolds, going flying over the the photo well rail after a foul ball. He was slow to get up but from what I know, was uninjured.

The Diamondbacks lost to the Giants 4-5. Big Unit Randy Johnson had a reasonable start, striking out seven but allowing four walks. The loss rest squarely on the shoulders of the defense, especially on the errors from Sheriff Mark Reynolds and Baby Drew.

Eric Byrnes extended his hitting streak to 10 games, shocking the hell out of me because if I had a dollar for everytime he grounded out to shortstop, I'd have a lot more dollars than I have right now. But apparently the Mop-Haired One can hit.

Oh, and a salute to David Ortiz who had not one but two base hits in the Red Sox's nailbiter victory over the Indians last night. Maybe Big Papi got his mojo back.

so it goes

2008-04-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

Well, if you're going to lose, lose spectacularly. That seemed to be the attitude in the Diamondbacks' dugout as they were demolished by the Rockies today, 13-5. The mascot for today's crapshoot was pitcher Edgar Gonzalez. In three innings on the mound, Gonzalez allowed three runs, walked two and hit two, including hitting one guy in the head.

The Dbacks followed Gonzalez's example. Though they did score five runs, offense was not there today (notable exceptions: Salazar and Snyder, who finally remembered that he's expected to bat, too). Eric Byrnes took it upon himself to ground out to short at every opportunity. The normally superb Orlando Hudson had trouble baserunning after a hit was ruled an infield fly. Now, I am a bit new at this baseball thing and I did have to look up the infield fly rule. In order to prevent infielders from allowing balls to hit the ground or dropping balls to try and turn double plays, an umpire can declare any infield ball that is catchable through ordinary effort an "infield fly." The batter is automatically out and any baserunners can advance but at their own risk. Now, I don't see why they don't just let them turn the double play, because the batter shouldn't hit that way and I don't think it's fair to punish the batter, especially if the infield fails to make the catch, but that's the rule. But Hudson decided to try and advance, not realizing the batter was out, and caused him to get tagged out.

The bullpen, including previously reliable Pena also suffered a complete meltdown. It was not pretty. And yeah, we were due for a loss. I just don't like to see everything come completely apart. Now, the Dbacks need to put the loss behind them as tomorrow the Big Unit takes the mound in his first start this year against the Giants. And hey, it's the Giants. Your local baseball rec team could beat the Giants right now.

Well done, sir

2008-04-13T08:58:00.001-07:00

Congratulations, Doug Davis, on your successful surgery for thyroid cancer. I wish you the best and hope to see you back on the mound soon.

Papelbon Postal Service

2008-04-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of the Boston Globe

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor hail is going to stop this closer from shutting the door on the Yankees. And giving us all heart attacks in the process. I guess that's what he's good at, though. You really have to give him a lot of credit for what he did last night - he's been called one of the most dynamic closers in baseball, and last night just proves it. I mean, my god. He's up, he's down, he's up, he's down, and after all that time still manages to bring his good stuff. Talk about heart-stopping, nailbiting baseball. Of course, I think it helped that we had a rain delay of over two hours, during which Jeanie Zelasko and her baseball buddies on FOX proceeded to totally play up the forthcoming Pap/A-Rod (I hate A-Rod) matchup. By the time they got back to the ball game, I'm sure I wasn't the only Sox fan in a murderous rage, ready to beat the Yankees into submission and send them back to the clubhouse crying for their mommies.

Which Jonathan Papelbon, closer extrordinaire, summarily did.

But of course we can't give Pap all the credit. Baseball Boyfriend Josh Beckett picked up the W last night, looking like he's finally back in tobacco-chewing, crotch-grabbing, filthy-heat-throwing form after his stint on the DL and a rocky start (and loss) last week against the Blue Jays. He was executing pitches and throwing fucking strikes, that's for sure. He's back to the Josh that I know and love, making short work of the Yanks with only 88 pitches over 6 2/3 innings. Ruthless efficiency, folks. This is why we call him Joshua fucking Beckett.

We can't forget Manny Ramirez, either. Manny being Manny; that is, hitting homers and driving in runs. And losing his cap on the ball field hustling to catch the third out of whatever inning that was. He makes the catch and starts running for the dugout, and on TV the announcers are going "Manny, your hat!" and I'm thinking "It's okay. Ellsbury will get it, because he's made of puppies and sunshine and will probably deliver it to Manny with a big smile, but not until he's managed to clean all the pine tar off of it first, because that's our rookie for ya." And sure enough, not five minutes later the announcers are saying something about Johnny Damon running in the outfield, "but not over Manny's hat. Ellsbury got it for him." Ha!

And finally, I really just want to give David Ortiz a hug. He needs one after yesterday. I'm thinking Ellsbury needs to buy him an ice cream and have a motivational chat with him, because he's in a major slump and it's really kind of sad. How does Big Papi become the not-so-proud owner of the second lowest batting average in major league baseball? People are speculating that his knee is still bothering him, which could be true. No official word on that, though.

Tonight on ESPN: Dice-K takes on Phil Hughes, and Pap gets the night off. He deserves it.

Game Day, Char here

2008-04-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

My first trip down the old ~~BOB~~ Chase Field since 2002 (I remember because they gave away World Series DVDs that day) was a resounding success. The Diamondbacks secured their seventh win in a row, pounding the Colorado Rockies 8-2. Brandon Webb was masterful, going eight innings allowing two runs on four hits and striking out six. Eric Byrnes homered and drew a walk, finally starting to look like he can do more than whack away at any pitch that comes in his general direction. Justin Upton and Orlando Hudson also homered. I was a little disappointed not to see Baseball Boyfriend Dan Haren live and in the flesh but, well, we can't have everything.

A Chicks and Sticks salute to the guys in section 203 for general awesomeness. Not only did they give a friend of mine a high five for her, shall we say...enthusiastic rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," but they also adopted one of my nicknames. Itty bitty Stephen Drew, shortstop to the Dbacks and brother of Red Sox JD Drew looks about 16 and since his brother plays for the Sox, I've started calling him Baby Drew. Well hell, if by the fourth inning, the guys in front of us weren't going "Come on, Baby Drew!" Spread it like wildfire, folks.

Conor Jackson (seen above, doing the pee pee dance) also returned to the lineup after leaving game three of the Dodgers series early to have his wrist examined after he was hit by a pitch, his third HBP in two games. I have decided that Conor "Gravity" Jackson keeps his powers in his eyebrows, which are so large they clearly have their own gravitational pull. No wonder he keeps getting hit.

A question: sequestered where they are behind screens and fences, the bullpen is the kids' table of baseball y/n?

And a tip for anyone making the trip to Chase Field (which I recommend, the stadium is quite nice now and the HD scoreboard is a thing of beauty) be careful where you walk. Downtwon Phoenix is very industrial so if you're walking away from the stadium and all you see are warehouses, you might want to turn around and try going another way, or you might find yourself in a situation where it takes you an hour to get to your car. Hypothetically. Not that I know from experience or anything.

Motivations by Jacoby Ellsbury

2008-04-12T00:03:00.000-07:00

Regarding Jacoby buying his team members ice cream in order to convince them to play hard:

Char: And you know Ellsbury offered to buy everybody ice cream too.
Trin: Oh, he so did. Nutty Buddies.
Char: He probably comes into the locker room early and leaves Little Debbies for everyone. Moon Pies from Jacoby.
Trin: Ha!
Char: Jacoby's the kind of guy who probably got notes from his mom in his lunch box.
Trin: I bet he leaves notes for the guys, too. Because you know that they order out and then make him go pick it up, and he writes on all their napkins.
Char: Even little things, "You're appreciated!"
Trin: I'm sure he writes that to the bullpen guys. Because that's what you write when you can't actually think of anything positive about them to say.
Char: Yeah, but it's not like writing "have a good summer" in someone's yearbook. He means it.
Trin: Because he's made of puppies and sunshine.
Char: He is.
Trin: He's like the anti-Beckett. Because Beckett is definitely not made of puppies or sunshine. He eats puppies and hates the sun.
Char: But Beckett's not evil.
Trin: He's not. Just scary.
Char: Beckett makes babies cry but he always feels bad and gives them candy after.
Trin: He does! Because he has a softer side. He's just, you know, Joshua fucking Beckett. He has an image to maintain.
Char: He does.

When you can't get to the ballpark

2008-04-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

Trin here. Char's off at the Diamondbacks game, so I've been forced to take over blogging duties. Not a whole lot going on. The Sox are losing to the Yankees, the Orioles are tied with Tampa Bay. I just recently discovered that Nick Markakis is really hot. Not that he's a threat to Josh Beckett's position as Baseball Boyfriend. He's just nice to look at. Really nice.

Anyway. If you're like me, you get a little irritated that you don't live in New England and can't watch Red Sox games on television, and you're on the world's worst satellite internet connection and couldn't watch MLB.tv even if you could afford it. So you do the next best thing - those gamecast things that a couple different sites offer. They're absolutely nothing like watching a ballgame, but at least you can kind of get an idea what's going on. I know of two - one on Yahoo! and one on ESPN. After following most of the game on the Yahoo! thing, then getting frustrated because it was so freaking slow and switching to the ESPN one, it's clear that the ESPN Gamecast is far superior. For a while I had them both going, and Yahoo!'s Gameday was at least a pitch behind ESPN. It was a couple pitches behind real time, too, when compared with the Orioles game on my TV. The ESPN Gamecast is a little crowded; in addition to the play by play and the graphic of the field and players, it's got a chart of the strike zone, scrolling information about the batter at the bottom of the screen, and larger pictures. It's just more...graphic. And with animation! You can watch the ball being pitched and in play, and a little box pops up to show you the result of the play. I really don't need all that; reading the play by play text is enough for me. I gues maybe it's meant to make you feel a little more like you're at a ballgame? At any rate, I think it's slightly strange that even with all that extra stuff, ESPN still runs faster than Yahoo.

Anyway, long story short is that if you can't watch the game, check out ESPN Gamecast. It's like being at the ballpark...only not.

First Time

2008-04-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

From Trinity, last night:

I just took a good look at the Sox game play by play...I don't know what the hell's going on at Fenway but it's bad. Lester didn't get a single K in his 5 innings. And he got charged with a wild pitch. Youk was moved to third and Casey put at first when Lowell got pulled for reasons unknown. Aardsma actually managed to strike a guy out. He went for 1.2 innings before Tito brought Bryan Corey in, which means we're going to be blowing through our joke of a bullpen tonight and we'll probably lose, unless he's smart and brings in Paps. But not even Papelbon can save this one; now we're down by four at the top of the 8th and how the hell are we losing to a team who's current record is something like 0-6? I mean, my god. I'm beginning to wonder if the World Series win was something I dreamed, because we sure as hell aren't playing like champions. What the fuck, Red Sox? What. The. Fuck. At least the Yankees are losing.

And from Char, this morning:

Detroit did get their first win, beating the Red Sox, 7-2. And while performance from players not named Daisuke (how much does Dice-K sound like an energy drink?) hasn't been extraordinary, the truth is that the Tigers weren't going to go 0-162. They had to get the W at some point, I just wish it had been against a different team. After the sweep in Toronto, the Sox have been a little slow out of the gate. I vote Ellsbury works his magic, buys everybody an ice cream and talks them into going out there and playing hard, because gee, they can do it.

Opening Day

2008-04-10T10:21:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the blog! The baseball blog has been done, so we're not exactly inventing the wheel here, but you don't usually see too much in the way of a new and emerging fan's view of the game of baseball. We're giving you two. Less than a year ago, Trinity would have said she hated baseball, because what's fun about a game where most of your time is spent waiting for something to happen? Char's flirted with having a relationship with the sport, but up until now hasn't been ready for a serious commitment. Now, though, Char won't shut up about the Diamondbacks and Trinity's kicking herself for having lived in Boston for a year and never having gone to Fenway. So this is about our impressions of baseball in general and since we're interested in more than one team, is more broadly focused than some other blogs (not that there won't be a lot of Red Sox and Diamondbacks talk).

And now, your starting lineup...

Char is a 23 year old SWF with brown hair, brown eyes, and a great sense of humor. She likes candlelight dinners, long walks on the beach, and...oh, wait. Dan Haren's not actually going to read this? Damn. It was worth a shot, anyway. So, Char. She's obviously the brains of this outfit, as the blog title, header, and general idea all belong to her. Char's the Diamondbacks girl and a lifelong baseball semi-fan who's recently decided that loving the National League is something to be proud of. Really proud of. As in, talks about it nonstop proud. That's okay; there are worse obsessions to have. Like a Yankees obsession.

And introducing Trinity, the Red Sox fan literally sinking her teeth into baseball for the first time. This is especially true because she would like nothing more than to be the filling in a Josh Beckett sandwich. She is blessed with satellite television, which means she gets to see a lot more games than I do, but not the games she wants (because nobody cares about the Nationals). She’s up on the knowledge, follows the news and her refusal to sugar coat things means she’s not afraid to tell it like it is. Likes: Josh Beckett’s soul patch; the Orioles because hey, at least they’re not the Nationals, and hating the Yankees.